The house hippo

[mooging]

It came to my attention with my last, fear-filled, post that some of you are unaware of the incredible wonderment that is a house hippo. So watch this:

That is a house hippo. Don't all of you want one? I want one. Also, that is the American version of the advert thingyum. The UK one is slightly different, but still. A house hippo. I will believe everything I see on tv, thanks, because I WANT A HOUSE HIPPO.

Actually, I have one. Clearly. He lives in my wardrobe and is called Henry-Sebastian-Aloysius. What's your house hippo called?

Baftas tonight! *hyperventilates with glee* Also, the Top Gear-goes-to-America special, which I am told should be rather good.

To keep me occupied today, I have decided to pinch a thing fromrionaleonhart, who is generally awesome and made brilliant use of this on many an occasion:

Give me a character (or multiple characters, or a pairing, or a theory, or a ridiculous AU, or anything you like, really) from a fandom (er, preferably one that I'm familiar with. If you don't know whether I know a fandom or not, feel free to ask. Crossovers are absolutely fine), and a theme to go with it (by 'a theme' I mean anything that will give me some idea of where I'm going - be as vague or as specific as you want to be), and I'll write you a one-sentence fic. You may make as many requests as you like. 

I hope you are all pleased that I survived the night in the room of horrible noises.

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

Yay! Hmm, let's see... prompts...

RICHARD HAMMOND HAS A PET HOUSE HIPPO.

Or, um, Jeremy Clarkson/Captain Jack Harkness, with the theme of horrible mistakes.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

RICHARD HAMMOND HAS A PET HOUSE HIPPO.

Oh that is a brilliant idea!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

For Richard, the thing that made the trials of having a house hippo for a pet completely and utterly worth the bother, besides the generally adorable nature of the creature and it being rather sweet and very loyal, was definitely the look on Jeremy's face when Richard brought Percy into the studio on a lead he had haphazardly constructed from a bit of string; the part that brought Richard back to reality amidst James' badly hidden guffaws was the phrase that accompanied Jeremy's dumbstuck demeanor as he took a few disbelieving steps forward and said "Nice to see you playing with someone your own size for a change".

Oh God, that started off okay and then rambled and Jeremy is nasty to write and I have never written Top gear people before and that was such a long sentence. (Also, I keep meaning to ask: what is Richard doing in your icon?)

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! Richard walking his house hippo on a little lead may actually be the most adorable image ever. And he's called Percy! And the look on Jeremy's face would be amazing.

(The icon is from when they had to buy Italian supercars for less than 10,000 pounds and drive them from Bristol to Slough without refuelling; the needle on Richard's petrol gauge is at the bottom and he's stuck in traffic, and the icon is of his adorably terrified expression. You can actually watch the clip on the site (if it's not on the sidebar, click '60+ Classic Clips' and go to '10,000 Supercars' under the 'Mucking About' heading.))

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

(That. Was. Brilliant. I'm going to watch the end of the van challenge now. Bye bye Sunday afternoon, I shall be watching Top Gear clips forever.)

[rionaleonhart]

But, er, now that I've actually glanced at the video on the site, it looks as if it's cut bits out, including the shot this icon comes from. Which makes me sad. WHY, YOUTUBE? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE FULL VIDEOS DOWN?

Also, watch this clip. It's only about a minute long, and it's rather marvellous.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahahaha, dungeon bitch. And Jeremy is a hatstand.

THERE SHOULD BE FIC IN WHICH JEREMY TURNS INTO A HAT STAND.

*is completely not insane*

[rionaleonhart]

YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY WEIRD.

I love the way Jeremy says 'dungeon bitch' and firmly believe that it is something he should say more often.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. It would be quite funny though, right? For example:

"I don't have any hands!" wailed hat-stand!Jeremy, "I can't drive!"

Over in the corner, James was laughing. Very, very hard.

Ominous noises fizzed from outside and Richard soon entered, clutching a chainsaw. "We'll soon see who's small, you freakish hat holding goliath!" he said, and approached hat-stand!Jeremy.

Jeremy howled and swore.

"Shush," said Richard, "you're upsetting James. Also, you shouldn't be able to talk. You're a hat-stand." He paused, and quite suddenly turned the chainsaw off. "I've just had a thought."

James managed to look interested while simultaneously dying of laughter.

"We could see how far he would fly," said Richard, looking inordinately pleased with himself and a touch psychotic, "we could shoot him from a cannon and aim him at a caravan!"

"I'll splinter!" gurgled hat-stand!Jeremy, and James began to look interested.

*
See what you have done to me! Look at that abomination! *drops head into hands*

[rionaleonhart]

OH MY GOD, YOU ARE A LUNATIC AND I LOVE YOU. (I love that the thing that most distresses him is 'OH MY GOD I CAN'T DRIVE.' Also, "We'll soon see who's small, you freakish hat-holding goliath!" may well be the greatest thing that anyone has ever said ever.

looking inordinately pleased with himself and a touch psychotic

Genius.)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. I cannot quite believe I wrote that.

It was very very fun though. Less than two hours to go until Top Gear hits America! (Although hopefully, in human form and not as hat-stands, incapacitated-by-laughing or chainsaw-wielding life forms.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

Ahahahahaha! What did I do before I had you on my flist? Brilliant.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'm glad you liked it! Also glad to be a welcome addition to a flist, and not just a crack!fic wielding freak ;-)

*cuddles you, just because*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

Well I do have a special fondness for crack!fic wielding freaks but you're a lot more than that. *hugs you back*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

Oh my God that is the cutest thing Ever! I want one!

Top Gear goes to America tonight! Yay! I can't wait for this!

I shall be back with a prompt later! And I will try to stop using exclamation marks! Possibly!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

Umm continuing the pet hippo theme: Adam and Zaf lose Wes' pet hippo.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- When Adam had agreed that Wes could have a pet house hippo, he had not factored the sheer panic of losing the tiny thing into the equation - neither had he foreseen that one afternoon, instead of reading over file notes like they were supposed to be doing, he and Zaf would spend the day turning the whole apartment upside down in an attempt to find it again after it wandered out of its box to nibble the the corners of the numerous sheets of paper, and end up with Adam leaning just too far to reach under a bookcase and falling right on top of Zaf: the kissing was inevitable really, but not pre-planned.

(I don't know if you wanted kissing or a sentence of quite this length, but there we go! I hope you found something enjoyable about it.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_la_mysterieuse/]

WHEEEE!! Zaf n Adam kissing. Brilliant. Absolutely loved it.

[nyuszi.livejournal.com]

i want a house hippy damn it, and i want it now!

laura/six (bsg - cigarette

do your worst! :D

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

(Argh, this is monumentally not. good.) Keep in mind I haven't seen any of S3 yet, in case that makes a difference at all!

- Six watches: not Baltar today, today she wanders and sees that woman, the ex-President, usually so collected and in control, lighting a cigarette with shaking hands and the last of her matches and taking deep breathes with colourless lips, and Six wanders back away from the moment between two tents; later, Six watches Baltar and thinks about God's plan, and Laura's trembling fingers around a dying flame.

I hope that's okay for you!

[nyuszi.livejournal.com]

mwahahaha! i know, and aren't i just evil. :)

oh! i loved it. i especially loved the imagery of laura's fingers around the dying flame. *le sigh*

thank you!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! It was quite odd to write, seeing as I wanted to use Baltar's imaginary/chip/whatever Six and, you know, Laura can't see her.

[nyuszi.livejournal.com]

i think it worked really well! and i hope you'll get to see all of season 3 really soon. :)

[ballion.livejournal.com]

Are you familar with NCIS? I'd like a Gibbs/Jenny fic then. Or alternatively Zarek/Roslin from BSG.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- Outlaws now, the pair of them, working in tents and darkness to fight for the comfort of ships and freedom from bitter cold canvas nights, and it comes as no wonder that in the midst of misery and despair that other people wallow in, the two strong minds seek solace in skin and heat and together, not thinking, not leading and not alone.

(Again, I've not seen any S3 - just heard tiny snippets about it - so this is kind of me trying to write post S2. Hope it's okay for you!)

[ballion.livejournal.com]

Pretty awsome. Thank you! ♥

[miss-atom.livejournal.com]

Mary/Bert me up baby. With the prompt tupence. (sp?)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- There are many ways to insult a woman and there are many ways to get out of insulting a woman by being charming and cockney; Bert soon discovered that if he held Mary's hand when she wasn't expecting it, she wrinkled her nose and looked disapproving, but if he gave the old lady feeding the birds a tuppence for a bag, Mary smiled and took his hand freely and stopped looking quite so unattainable.

(Was that okay?)

[miss-atom.livejournal.com]

OMG that was awesome. *sigh* she really does look disapproving at Bert at the mere suggestion that he hold he hand.

I read the rest of the snippets, even though I have never seen BSG, but I wanted to say you are a really good writer :D

If you wrote a whole m/b fic I would do anything for you :)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I wanted to say you are a really good writer :D - thank you! That's so kind of you.

As for a whole Mary/Bert fic...well...*looks mysterious*

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

Requests ahoy! (Oh, and feel free to write more than a sentence :D)

> Laura/Irina, theme = Laura doesn't know whether to feel glad that she's not bound to a chair, or angry that they don't see her as enough of a threat.

> Sue White/Karen Walker, theme = bar crawl around Manhattan (Sue is on holiday but it's really rather a thing enforced by the hospital so they can have a holiday)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I'll start with sentences and see if I get inspired further ;-)

I'll have to do one at a time, as they appear in my head!

- Not being tied to a chair means that Laura can lock her leg around Irina's as Irina's hands are gripping her waist and her mouth is devouring her own, but Laura is more devious than people think and being tied down might have suited their plan more; they will remember this as they hunt for her later, Irina left holding the blouse Laura discarded as she slipped out of their clutches.

(I'm not quite sure what the hell is going on, or why they leave Laura alone after Irina is done sexing her, or why Laura would need to leave her blouse behind to escape, but shuttup there's kissing.)

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

(You really think I give a fig about story logic if there's Irina/Laura snoggage and touching?) That was HOTHOTHOT. Merci.

Laura sans blouse = easier for her to distract any guards. ;D

And they leave Laura alone after the sexing because Irina has realised that Laura is becoming a dangerously delicious weakness for her. I have thought a lot about this, oui.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- Normally Karen wouldn't be seen near anyone Scottish - she can't understand them and they're rather agressive, she has found - but Sue is different: Sue has gulped down more than Jack will think about drinking with her and is still standing (more skipping, as she now appears to be doing the highland fling down the busy, foreign street she has arrived at), and Karen finds herself following her to their next port of call and admiring the shape to Sue's legs as she hikes her skirt up and kicks out her feet.

(Um. And then that happened, and I am sorry.)

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahaha, I LOVE THIS TO PIECES.

Sue is doing the highland fling down an NYC street and Karen is looking at her legs: perfick. *beams*

PS- I would very much like Karen and Sue to re-create this icon. That would be......pleasing.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Very, very pleasing. And then they should jump up and down, in an attempt to...oh, I don't know or care, just make them do it, to out-bounce each other?

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

Um, just to be really inventive? Mac/Guy. In any way at all.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- There are several ways for people to keep a relationship under wraps and Mac quickly establishes that Guy either knows none of them, is being deliberately obtuse or is just enjoying the attention; it all comes to a head rather nicely in theatre: Caroline is flirting across the scapels like normal when Guy suddenly grabs Mac by the shoulders, tears off his mask and snogs him quite thoroughly and with definite tongue action, and when he pulls away and Mac is trying to think of something witty or calming to say, Guy snaps "Fuck off bitch, he's mine," and then the whole hospital knows by the end of the day.

I may do another one for you tomorrow, as that is not that great because it is late, I am tired, and the Baftas have sapped me of energy!

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA I love possessive!Guy, and I can actually picture each of their expressions afterwards perfectly in my head, fantastic, I LOVE YOU.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

YAYE LOVE.

And yes, with Mac being all kind of head-down-pausing-person and Guy being all jaw-jutting-sneery-person and Caroline just kind of boggling at them, and everyone else going on as normal because they already suspected, and had done for years, and so they don't really care. ;-)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

- In retrospect, subtlety was perhaps too much to ask for but Mac had hoped for something a little more low-key than Guy parading around the hospital singing charming ditties such as "I've hit that ginger ass (Oh yeah)" and "He's my surgeon bitch (So fine)"; Mac soon discovered that the optimum way of making him just stop singing (which was most people's main concern - the noise rather than the deeply profound lyrics) was to shove him against a wall and kiss him until he started kissing back.

(This one, I feel, is a little more pleasing!)

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

Omg, I got two, eeee! SINGING, YES. And the songs have brackets! I don't know why this pleases me so much! But it does! And they sound so much like the stuff Guy does sing, and omg yay, and then in case that wasn't great enough there is suddenly KISSING and sorry my reviews are always so terribly incoherent, but take this to be a good sign.

[mariannesquee.livejournal.com]

Yurm, how amazing was TopGear!? Ugh. Loved it.
Also, what channel are the Baftas on?
ALSO, why have you not seen no Season 3 bsg? You must explain and justify this crime!?

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Top Gear was very, very brilliant.

The Baftas were on BBC1; sorry I didn't reply earlier (they've finished now) but I was watching them myself!

I've not seen any S3 BSG because I don't like watching tv on the computer (downloads and the like) and I don't get Sky One, so no BSG for me until the dvds!

[cecile-volanges.livejournal.com]

I WANT A TEENY WEENY HIPPO THAT OPENS IT'S MOUTH ALL CUTELY!!

xxx

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I WANT ONE TOO.