Fic: Green Wing, Mac/Guy, Rambling is a Side-Effect of Greatness, PG

[mooging]

I was going to post this today, but then strangeumbrellaposted her epic UOGB fic and I felt all inadequate and debated whether to post this or not.

And then I said 'asjbfxjbv' and did it anyway, because it's about time I got round to a fic request at bloody last.

Title: Rambling is a Side-Effect of Greatness
Fandom: Green Wing
Pairing: Mac/Guy
Rating: PG
Word Count: 432
Disclaimer: Green Wing isn't mine. Guy's insanity is also not my responsibility, thank God.
Summary: Guy has a theory. Or an analogy. Whatever it is, it means he's clever, thank you very much.
A/N: For _faeriequeen, who wanted some Mac/Guy. Argh argh argh, hope it's okay, usual insecurities, nnnngh, etc.

 

Guy has an analogy. It's about Mac.

Well, no, actually, he has several analogies, mostly about Secretan Sex Shacks and Swiss Kissing, and there might be one where he attempts to compare a melted Toblerone to someone's brain (all gloopy with unexpected sharp bits), but the one he's spent the most time on is the one about Mac.

Mac is like an iceberg.

This is generally the point where he smacks the other person, whoever he has roped into listening to him and who has usually just snorted and made a comment about lack of originality, and then Guy starts justifying his brilliant theory. Analogy. Whatever. He doesn't really care, just so long as they're listening.

See, icebergs are cold. Mac is fairly 'cool' (and Guy does the whole irritating quotation-mark-fingers here). Icebergs are very self-contained, being huge lumps of floating ice, and so is Mac. Icebergs don't really do anything unless something else gets in their way: Mac is, more often than not, reacting to something rather than initiating it, mostly because of being a) cool, and b) self-contained. When icebergs do get provoked (obviously ice can be provoked and there is no flaw in the analogy here whatsoever), they do bloody huge amounts of damage: Mac can be bloody cruel and bloody wonderful, and everything he does leaves a big gaping hole in people, whether they need quarts of ice-cream to heal it or they spend the rest of their lives trying to lasso him back to them to make them feel complete again.

Here is where Guy is normally accused of being too sentimental, and he swears, and points to the several empty pint glasses that are invariably littering the table by this point.

Guy only has need of analogies when he's drunk or drinking.

Later, when he's trying to get to sleep with alcohol eating his liver and a perishing hammer of nausea pummeling away at his patented Sturdy Swiss Secretan Stomach, Guy makes all sorts of points, including how he himself was like the Titanic, all steamy and thrusting and giant (and then he gets understandably sidetracked for a while, with innuendo and penis jokes), and then bloody iceberg Mac came along and stopped all the steaming and the thrusting, but in the way that not all the passengers notice the danger until it's too late, all the lifeboats have gone and the Titanic is already snapping in two.

And then Guy falls asleep.

He doesn't take it any further than that.

*

Comments

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Your comment made me go :D more than is stricly necessary.

Also, your icon amuses me. Guyyyyyy.

[lairecoireanor.livejournal.com]

yeah it's great, isn't it? ;) was made some time ago by dashing_icons