Fic: Green Wing, Mac/Guy, Rambling is a Side-Effect of Greatness, PG

[mooging]

I was going to post this today, but then strangeumbrellaposted her epic UOGB fic and I felt all inadequate and debated whether to post this or not.

And then I said 'asjbfxjbv' and did it anyway, because it's about time I got round to a fic request at bloody last.

Title: Rambling is a Side-Effect of Greatness
Fandom: Green Wing
Pairing: Mac/Guy
Rating: PG
Word Count: 432
Disclaimer: Green Wing isn't mine. Guy's insanity is also not my responsibility, thank God.
Summary: Guy has a theory. Or an analogy. Whatever it is, it means he's clever, thank you very much.
A/N: For _faeriequeen, who wanted some Mac/Guy. Argh argh argh, hope it's okay, usual insecurities, nnnngh, etc.

 

Guy has an analogy. It's about Mac.

Well, no, actually, he has several analogies, mostly about Secretan Sex Shacks and Swiss Kissing, and there might be one where he attempts to compare a melted Toblerone to someone's brain (all gloopy with unexpected sharp bits), but the one he's spent the most time on is the one about Mac.

Mac is like an iceberg.

This is generally the point where he smacks the other person, whoever he has roped into listening to him and who has usually just snorted and made a comment about lack of originality, and then Guy starts justifying his brilliant theory. Analogy. Whatever. He doesn't really care, just so long as they're listening.

See, icebergs are cold. Mac is fairly 'cool' (and Guy does the whole irritating quotation-mark-fingers here). Icebergs are very self-contained, being huge lumps of floating ice, and so is Mac. Icebergs don't really do anything unless something else gets in their way: Mac is, more often than not, reacting to something rather than initiating it, mostly because of being a) cool, and b) self-contained. When icebergs do get provoked (obviously ice can be provoked and there is no flaw in the analogy here whatsoever), they do bloody huge amounts of damage: Mac can be bloody cruel and bloody wonderful, and everything he does leaves a big gaping hole in people, whether they need quarts of ice-cream to heal it or they spend the rest of their lives trying to lasso him back to them to make them feel complete again.

Here is where Guy is normally accused of being too sentimental, and he swears, and points to the several empty pint glasses that are invariably littering the table by this point.

Guy only has need of analogies when he's drunk or drinking.

Later, when he's trying to get to sleep with alcohol eating his liver and a perishing hammer of nausea pummeling away at his patented Sturdy Swiss Secretan Stomach, Guy makes all sorts of points, including how he himself was like the Titanic, all steamy and thrusting and giant (and then he gets understandably sidetracked for a while, with innuendo and penis jokes), and then bloody iceberg Mac came along and stopped all the steaming and the thrusting, but in the way that not all the passengers notice the danger until it's too late, all the lifeboats have gone and the Titanic is already snapping in two.

And then Guy falls asleep.

He doesn't take it any further than that.

*

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_faeriequeen/]

Aww it's not rubbish at all...I love the bit about Titanic and penis jokes! Hehe. Poor Guy, he's so useless at dealing with emotions.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it (your icon made me laugh for longer than was strictly necessary, I have to say).

[http://users.livejournal.com/_faeriequeen/]

Hehe yeah you can't help reading it in the silly accent he does! *hearts*

[catwalksalone]

Ouch. I like how you've got Guy here - all drunken analogies and penis jokes and underneath there's this whole other him, a him that Mac has punched a giant hole through. Perfect analogy for Mac as well. Very well done.

BTW, my computer picked this icon itself. How did it know?


small point: it's iceberg.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Your computer is clearly a genius. Or linked to your brain. One or the other ;)

Thank you for the comment, it made me smile.

See, now, this is what I get for posting things half-asleep and not running spell-check. Thank you (and you know, I think I knew that in some part of my brain that has helpfully chosen to delete that piece of information from my brain. Nnngh, I feel, is the correct response there)!

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

and then bloody iceberg Mac came along and stopped all the steaming and the thrusting, but in the way that not all the passengers notice the danger until it's too late, all the lifeboats have gone and the Titanic is already snapping in two.
This is WEIRDLY HEARTBREAKING. I have NO IDEA HOW YOU DID THAT BUT WELL DONE. This is basically for the win, as always, and I love the idea that Guy really really has thought this through, almost as much as the fact that he gets sidetracked by innuendo inside his own head.

Not to mention LOL TOBLERONE, which I laughed at mostly because the analogy makes perfect sense to me and I like it.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Lol toblerone. I may text you at random points and say LOL TOBLERONE. You know you'll look forward to that ;)

How's being back in the land of learning going? I'm back on Friday (I have no idea why Year 12 get an extra three days, but I really don't mind).

Thank you for the nice comment (*squishes*), and of course Guy gets side-tracked by innuendo inside his own head: he's Guy. :D ♥

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

I had a full day today, which was a bit blah, because augh getting up is rubbish I'd forgotten that, and so I was not very awake. However, the good thing about year 13: I HARDLY HAVE ANY FULL DAYS. Tomorrow I only have two hours of lessons! And one of them's Contempory Issues! Which is basically nothing! And then on Friday I have NO LESSONS. Which is just insanely brilliant. Less brilliant is the fact that we're not allowed to go home in the free periods until next week; also less brilliant is the fact that even when we can go home, we're only supposed to for four of the nine or so hours we have off each week, which means that presumably I am expected to come in at some point on the Fridays on which I have no lessons. Er, I don't think so? I can sit around doing nothing at home, thank you very much, I am not going to come into school to do it. (Or, alternatively, if I end up doing some work (lol, possible), I can do that perfectly well at home too.) in conclusion: LOL SCHOOL. And also damn you for not going in until Friday!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

At least you get to leave during your free periods. We do not. We are forced to stay in the buildings. *does not want*

Also, also, I'll only get about four lessons off a week. THAT'S NOT EVEN ONE A DAY. Damn me and my need to do four AS-levels (and then stubbornly refuse to drop one next year, even if it kills me). Ahaha, see how healthy my work ethic is.

You paint such a productive picture of free periods, my sweet. :D

I've been trying to ease myself back into something resembling a school-ish routine as regards Getting Up: my body, however, makes me lie awake until one-ish and then refuses to move until eleven in the morning. ON FRIDAY I WILL BE UP AT SEVEN. The thought fills me with dread and horror, argh, argh, I don't want to go back.

ALSO what am I supposed to do about free dress? I don't know what my own name is until about ten o'clock, I can't be expected to put clothes on that don't make me look like a cross-eyed deer. Although, yes, better my cross-eyed deer clothing than the hideous excuse for the uniform they've shoved us in for the last five years. MAN MADE FIBRES NO MORE! I WILL BE ABLE TO CONTROL MY OWN BODY TEMPERATURE WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION TO REMOVE A JUMPER.

I'm taking the good bits where I can get them, because I can't see any good bits.

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

Do you not get to go home in your frees at all this year? D: We had to stay in the building until half term, and then they let us go home for a few hours a week (although we went home in all of them anyway). Frees in year 12 seem so paltry now I am a mighty year 13 (hear me roar!), oh I pity your four lessons off. Ah, I remember those days. (because... they were about three months ago.)

Are you not dropping a subject next year?! My god, good luck. I assume it can be done, but I've only been in for a day and am already becoming faintly panicked about the amount of work I'm supposed to be doing this year.

[curlybeach.livejournal.com]

This is great! ^_^

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

This is AWESOME.


Clearly, you have a Guy living in your head because the voice is perfect. :D

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Should I be slightly worried that I may have a Guy living in my head? It sounds like something I should be worried about.

I'm glad you like!

[misplacedmarble.livejournal.com]

MARRY ME AND HAVE MY CHILDREN.

I'M SURE I'VE ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE.

WAIT NO I'M TELLING YOU.

IF YOU DON'T I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO THE PATH OF A MOVING VEHICLE.

OH GOD OH GOD YOU WIN SO MUCH.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

OH GOD DON'T THROW YOURSELF UNDER A MOVING VEHICLE.

YOU WOULD DO THAT IF I WAS YOUR WIFE.

I AM GLAD YOU LIKED.

I AM ALSO APPARENTLY A SLAVE TO CAPSLOCK.

HELLO WIFE.

XXXXXXX

[misplacedmarble.livejournal.com]

YAY GOOD YOU ARE NOW MINE.

NOW ALL WE NEED IS GUY AND MAC.

MUHAHAHAHAHA! *rubs hands in gleeeeeee*

[lairecoireanor.livejournal.com]

oh my god. I SAW guy doing the quotation marks! I HEARD him going on a side track about being enormous! :D

this is fantastic! :D

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Your comment made me go :D more than is stricly necessary.

Also, your icon amuses me. Guyyyyyy.

[lairecoireanor.livejournal.com]

yeah it's great, isn't it? ;) was made some time ago by dashing_icons