who will love you, who will fight

[mooging]

GUYYYYS tonight I am going to watch the last two episodes of The Pacific, and then presumably drown in an ocean of my tears. FIC RECS? Alternatively, pictures of giant pandas to combat all the weeping?

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF, ugh this is like that time I thought it would be a good idea to watch Boy A at two in the morning when I was feeling wobbly. Hindsight says: BAD IDEA.

Comments

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

Or like the time I finished watching Never Let Me Go at like 3:30 AM when there was absolutely no one around to talk me off the ledge and I freaked out for awhile and then laid in my bed of pain silently weeping until I fell asleep??? THAT WAS SUPER FUN!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

W H A T

oh god, never in my life have I been as wrecked by a film as NLMG. Boy A destroyed me in a completely different way, where I was almost too destroyed to cry and just lay in my bed staring in disbelief and pain at the laptop screen, but FUCKING HELL, NEVER LET ME GO. I saw it in the cinema, and I had to walk out of there at the end, like, hitching with sobs. My mother was with me, and she was all "meh, not that sad" and I was still gulping in horrible tearful breaths by the time we got to the car. And then she was all "so what did you find so upsetting?" and I COULDN'T THINK ABOUT IT ENOUGH TO TELL HER, or I would have just wept everywhere. It took me, like, the rest of the day to stop intermittently weeping all over myself. THE BOOK SLAYED ME, BUT THE FILM DANCED ON MY ASHES. NOTHING WILL EVER BE THAT SAD EVER AGAIN, OH GOD, TOMMYYYYY DDDDDDDD:

[ambiguousreason.livejournal.com]

IT IS TERRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ANDREW GARFIELD I HATE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES, GOD. The parts that absolutely wreck me are the very end because basically the note it ends on is EVERYONE DIES but also the part when Tommy and Kathy track down their old headmistress or whoever to ask her about the deferrals and he is so hopeful and Kathy has to TELL HIM there are no deferrals and his face, HIS FAAAAAAAAAACE, SET MY CORPSE ON FIRE AND PUSH ME OUT INTO THE LAKE TO DIE. NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING HURTS.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? RIGHT? AND THEN TOMMY SCREAMING IN THE ROAD, OH MY GOD, SOMEONE SHOOT ME, IT WOULD BE MORE HUMANE THAN LETTING ME DEHYDRATE TO DEATH THROUGH MY OWN UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING. THE SCREAMS KILL ME. BUT MORE THAN THAT, HIS LITTLE SMILE ON THE TABLE AT THE END, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I AM ON A PYRE OF ANGUISH AND FLAMES.

[daisysusan.livejournal.com]

Urgh, I finished watching Boy A around midnight and there was a lot of emotional instability and then I stayed up until 2 reading fic to soothe my soul.

AND I JUST ORDERED DISCS 1 AND 2 OF THE PACIFIC FROM NETFLIX BECAUSE APPARENTLY CRUSHING MY OWN SOUL IS WHAT I DO NOW.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

ajhgfdhs Boy A. I couldn't even cry properly by the end, I was just - numb. And black. And destroyed. UGH GOD ANDREW GARFIELD DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE, WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME. JACK IS THE MOST UPSETTING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. THE CAUTIOUS HOPE BEHIND HIS EYES, AND HIS CAREFUL WAVERINGLY HAPPY MOUTH. GOD. GOD. EEEEEEEVERYONE OUT.

ajhgfhjs THE PACIFIC. SLEDGE TOOK MY SOUL AND GROUND IT UNDER HIS STANDARD MARINE-ISSUE SHOE. JOE MAZZELLO HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME.

[daisysusan.livejournal.com]

I sobbed a bit at the end. OKAY THAT IS A LIE, I SOBBED A LOT AT THE END. THERE WAS HICCUPING. I MAINTAIN THAT ANDREW SHOULD JUST COVER HIS FACE WITH A PAPER BAG FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.

Also you mentioned the cinematography which was AMAZING AND PROBABLY HAD A LOT TO DO WITH HOW MUCH I SOBBED. BUT LESS THAN ANDREW'S FACE.

DISC 2 IS COMING TOMORROW. Disc 1 is coming IDK when. YOU ARE FAILING ALL OVER THE PLACE, NETFLIX.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I SECOND THAT PAPER BAG MOTION. HIS STUPID, STUPID FACE. ;______; UGH UGH. BETWEEN THIS AND NLMG AND WARDO, HE HAS EVISCERATED MY SOUL. STUPID OPEN FACE. ASJBZFH MY EMOTIONS.

I think I would need to watch it again to pick up on a lot of the cinematography, because I MEAN IT WAS AMAZE, but I was distracted because I had to keep PAUSING THE MOVIE IN ANGUISH AND DESPAIR. PAUSING IT. AKFHUD STICK A FORK OF SORROW IN ME, I'M DONE.

dskhj The Pacific! I think in terms of overall episodes, I preferred the first half of it, but in terms of character and individual moments, I preferred the second. I WILL NEED YOUR THOUGHTS OKAY?

[daisysusan.livejournal.com]

WHEN I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING NLMG AND CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN LIVEBLOGGING ALL MY CREYS ON TUMBLR, SOMEONE REBLOGGED A PICTURE OF HIS FACE AND I WAS LIKE NO NO MAKE IT GO AWAY I AM SOBBING TOO HARD. So yeah, paper bag. (AT LEAST HE DID NOT MAKE ME CRY ON DOCTOR WHO. EXCEPT HIS ACCENT KIND OF DID OH MY EARS I AM SORRY ANDREW BUT THAT WAS JUST AWFUL.)

I noticed the cinematography more during the first half of the movie, because I was sobbing horribly and making gutted fish noises. I DON'T KNOW WHAT NOISE A GUTTED FISH MAKES BUT I'M SURE IT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH AT SOME POINT DURING THAT VIEWING.

I look forward to it. ASSUMING I EVER GET MY HANDS ON THE DVDS AALSKD FAPWEIUHLAKJSD. JOE I WANT YOUR FACE TO MAKE ME CRY RN.

[moonlitelupines.livejournal.com]

OMG DON'T GET ME STARTED ON BOY FUCKING A. DO NOT. I CAN'T EVEN WITH THAT MOVIE. But seriously, it's an amazing film for many, many reasons, the largest being the cinematography, which literally made my skin crawl with all it's fucking close ups on the actors' eyes and editing that just left me feeling just as discontented and isolated as Jack.

I still haven't finished The Pacific. I really need to, I just am such a BoB loyalist and guh if it doesn't have RRROOOEEE or BBAAABBBEEE or WWWIINNNTTEERRRSSS than I just don't know if I can go through it.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

FUCKING BOY A. NO. WE CANNOT EVEN GO THERE. UGH THE SHOT RIGHT AT THE END, WHEN JACK IS ON THE PIER AND HE TIPS HIS HEAD BACK. NO. I REFUSE. AKHFJSD. ;__________;

I have never seen BoB! I need to, though. SELL ME ON IT, GO GO GO.

(YOU HAVE POSTED THE ROAD AU SDHFDSGFHD CANNOT WAIT CANNOT WAIT)

[moonlitelupines.livejournal.com]

UGH THE SCENE THAT GETS ME IS WHEN ALL THE SHIT COMES OUT AND HE LOCKS HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM AND CRIES AND SAYS "I'M NOT THAT BOY" AND KHGFVJKLKJHGFDFHJKLKJHGF NO OKAY FUCK THIS MOVIE.

GASP! You need to see it!!! UH UH UH OKAY WELL THERE'S THIS COMPANY, EASY COMPANY, AND THEY'RE PARATROOPERS, WHICH MEANS THEY JUMP OUT OF PLANES INTO ENEMY TERRITORY WITH BASICALLY THEIR RIFLES AND WHATEVER FITS IN THEIR PACKS. ANY THEY'RE FUCKING AMAZING. LIKE, BEST EVER EVER EVER. AND THEN THERE'S ROE, WHO IS ONE OF EASY'S MEDICS. AND MEDICS IN WW2 WERE BADASS. WHY? BECAUSE THEY RAN INTO FUCKING COMBAT TO GET TO WOUNDED SOLDIERS AND THEY WEREN'T ALLOWED WEAPONS, LIKE NOT EVEN A HAND GUN AND UGH ROE JUST FEELS SO MUCH AND HE HAS AN EPISODE ALL ABOUT HIM CALLED "BASTOGNE" AND AND AND WORDS CANNOT CONTAIN MY ~FEELINGS~ JUST WATCH IT.

(Yes, yes I did post it. Hope you like it!)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

THE SCENE THAT MAKES ME CRY THE HARDEST IS EITHER A) THE FIRST SEX SCENE OR B) "SOMETIMES WHEN I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU, AND THEN I SEE YOU, I FIND IT HARD TO BREATHE". ;________; FUCK THIS MOVIE, MOVING ON TO HAPPINESS.

agfsh I am so looking forward to BoB! I have been told by various people that I need to put it in my eyes asap, so I will get on that. I think I might need a break from rampant war sorrow for a while (THE PACIFIC, UGH UGH UGH, JOE MAZZELLO HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY FEELINGS) but then I am there! MUCH LIKE YOUR FIC, SHJDGFHJ I NEED TO NOT HAVE WATCHED THE PACIFIC IN THE LAST FEW DAYS AND THEN I AM ALL OVER YOUR FIC LIKE REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC MOSS.

[moonlitelupines.livejournal.com]

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING. THE FIRST SEX SCENE *KEENS* JUST OH GOD HIS FACE.

you really really need to put BoB in your eyes asap because it is vital to your continued living, I kid you not. BoB is super sneaky war sorrow, the first episode isn't all that sad. It's actually kinda funny; but that's very much in keeping with the tone of BoB. For ever tear you cry, there is at least two laughs. except when there isn't like in Bastogne and omg omg omg pretty much every episode after Crossroads

I AM ALL OVER YOUR FIC LIKE REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC MOSS

LIKE REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC MOSS

REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC MOSS

ENTHUSIASTIC MOSS

I love you.

[savetomorrow.livejournal.com]

Err, hi.

You don't know me, so let me just point out that I'm not stalking you. I was just reading your fics and fangirling all over everything because that's what I do when people are super-talented like you and then I kind of maybe thought it would be nice to stalk check out your journal in general. Umm, so yeah.

And I swear I wasn't going to even say anything - because, hello, that's not good stalking - but I just saw this journal entry and and and I just watched Boy A yesterday and I had completely forgotten how fucking sad that damn movie is and how ridiculously tear-inducing Andrew is and now I just basically wanna cry about it to someone because my friend (who I watched it with) is made of stone and other cold and soulless things and didn't even cry.

I have also watched The Pacific and am more than ready to cry about that as well.

Oh my god, this is such a random comment. I'm going to bury myself in the backyard or something.

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Hi! ahgfsh you are far too lovely. SERIOUSLY, BOY A, JFC. I had to keep pausing it through sheer emotional agony. ENOUGH WITH YOUR FACE, ANDREW GARFIELD. I CANNOT TAKE YOUR FACE IN MY LIFE ANY MORE. MY HEART IS ALL WRUNG OUT. ugh god seeing NLMG in the cinema was embarrassing. TEARS EVERYWHERE. MORE TEARS THAN BREATH. GODDD.

And The Pacific! UGH JOE MAZZELLO WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME WITH YOUR FACE? SLEDDDDDDDGE DDDDD:

[savetomorrow.livejournal.com]

You just wait till I finish reading your ridiculously - ridiculously! - perfect bakery fic, because I will totally unleash my loveliness upon that fic via a massive comment of rainbows. YOU JUST WAIT. IT WILL HAPPEN.

OH DEAR GOD BOY A KILLS ME SO FUCKING BADLY. Jack is the saddest character ever. I mean, he's so happy about all the little things - like his job, and the shoes, and getting to decide his own name, and McDonald's. Like a child seeing everything for the first time. HE'S SO HAPPY. SO STUPIDLY HAPPY.

And then - because apparently the scene where Jack tells Michelle that sometimes he can't breathe when he sees her didn't make me cry enough - this happens:



...what did I ever do to deserve all this pain in my heart, seriously. I LIKED MY HEART WHEN IT WASN'T IN PIECES AND SCATTERED ALL OVER THE FLOOR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WHYYYY. ANDREW GARFIELD, HIDE YOUR FACE, I CAN'T LOOK AT YOU.

And oh god, NEVER LET ME GO. THAT FILM IS 103 MINUTES OF PURE EMOTIONAL MURDER. Nothing kills me more than characters who are all hopeful and stuff and then everything blows up in their faces and then they, well, scream and cry and eventually die. WHY, TOMMY, WHY.
Ugh, I can only imagine seeing NLMG in the cinema DD: I WOULD'VE DIED, NOT EVEN KIDDING. Seeing the Tommy breakdown on a massive screen must be terrible. I haven't seen it in the cinema because, well, there's only one cinema near my town and the bastards have something against NLMG, so it's only in the cinema in Helsinki (which is 170 km away from my town). I had to watch it on my computer ;___;

THE PACIFICCCC. OH GOD, SLEDGE. It was so painful to watch how the war hurt him *WATERFALLS FROM MY EYES*
Which reminds me of something. Have you read this??

This comment is so long, I'm sorry. There was a lot to cry about ^^''

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

SDHGFHJS THAT GIF. THAT GIIIIIF. BRB DROWNING IN MY OWN TEARS. MY ROOM IS FILLING WITH TEARS LIKE ALL THE MOVIES WHERE THE HERO AND HEROINE HAVE TO RIDE OUT OF AN ENCLOSED, WATER-FLOODING SPACE BY STAYING AFLOAT, ONLY THERE IS NO AIR ONLY SORROW. DDDDDDDDD:

And yes, exactly what you said about Jack. It's how happy he is that slays me. I think the bit that gets me most in the whole film is his smile at the beginning, when he's picking his own name. Just - open, tentative happiness. And then the whole way through he stays tentative, but not, like, closed off or unsure, just sort of cautious, but not like nervous-cautious, just happy-cautious, if that makes sense? Like he can't quite believe he gets to feel that way/do that thing etc. IDEK IDEK JUST HIS STUPID OPEN FACE MAKES ME WANT TO OSTRICH HEAD THE SAND FOREVER.

And aksjhfj Never Let Me Go. Oh my god. I cannot even talk about that without whimpering like a child. (ot: Helsinki! Amaze :D)

I DON'T THINK I AM EMOTIONALLY READY TO READ THAT FIC BECAUSE SKJDFHG WAR PLUS TSN DOES NOT EQUAL A CHEERFUL GOOD TIME, AND ALL I NEED IN MY SOUL POST-THE PACIFIC IS RAINBOW DELIGHT, but SOON I will grit my teeth and read it, ahjdgfj can't wait can't wait.

I am all for long comments! I ramble terribly and never proof-read comments so other people leaving long comments make my eyes go all a-heart. ♥ and shjdgfj you are too lovely re: bakery fic, I am so happy you are enjoying it! ALL I WANTED WAS FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY, WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[savetomorrow.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. THE FIRST TIME I SAW THAT GIF... JUST, PAIN, PAIN EVERYWHEEERE. HOW CAN ANYONE LOOK AT THAT FACE AND NOT CRY FOR LIKE SIX HOURS IN A ROW. (AND PLEASE DON'T DROWN IN YOUR TEARS.)

Oh my god, don't even get me started on his smile at the beginning. *CRYING RIVERS AND OCEANS AND WATERFALLS* Happy-cautious. Yeah, that's a good word to describe him (and it does make sense, definitely). He's just so damn happy to get a second chance, and he just wants to be an ordinary guy and have an ordinary life and enjoy all the little things. GFHDGHGJKHHJ YES, HIS STUPID OPEN FACE. Kills me every time, honestly. Like, there are so many scenes in the film where his expression is like... I don't know, like... like he's overcome by a feeling of pure bliss, or something. Like with the shooooes. Or this scene:



I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT HIS FAAAACE. WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT. JUST MURDER ME NOW, IT WOULD HURT A LOT LESS. (and sorry for torturing you with Boy A gifs)

Yeah, NLMG is way too tear-inducing. I want to cry about it to my Finnish friends, but nobody's seen it. I'M ALONE WITH THIS MISERY ;___; (heh, Helsinki is a nice place indeed :D)

YEAH IT'S NOT EXACTLY APPLETINI RAINBOW DELIGHT. It hasn't been too sad so far, though. YOU CAN TAKE IT, YOU CAN TAKE IT.
Oh, and this is kinda random, but how amazing is the main title theme from The Pacific?! That thing alone makes me cry (so I was pretty much crying before I had even seen the damn series, that's just all kinds of sad).

You're not alone with the rambling! As you can tell from my comments.
AND SERIOUSLY, THE BAKERY FIC IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS IN THIS FANDOM EVER. I'm not going to start gushing about it right now, but seriously. If it were humanly possible to throw up rainbows, I would do that. Multiple times. ♥

Randomness continues: so I stalked your user info and we almost have the same birthday. I'm two days younger than you. (I am having a fangirl moment over here, not even kidding. it's not creepy or stalker-y at all.)

[hold-onhope.livejournal.com]

Oh god I keep seeing things about The Pacific on tumblr and my brain keeps telling me to RUN AWAY, RUN FAR AWAY, YOU WILL END UP CRYING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER AT 2 A.M. AGAIN. I don't have the heart to watch it. D:

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

OH GOD BB MAYBE JUST... idk, parts of it stole my soul and threw it in an incinerator of pain, but then I bore up through more of it than I was expecting to do? IDK IDK JUST - WATCH IT, BECAUSE IT IS LEGIT AMAZING, BUT ALSO HAVE SOME TISSUES ON STANDBY. I'd been meaning to watch it for months, but the thought of it always made me turn immediately to, like, THE HOUSE BUNNY or THE PROPOSAL or something else INCREDIBLY CHEERFUL though sheer pain-avoidance.