Happy Birthday to the lovely Maddie!

[mooging]

It is the birthday of the lovely Maddie ( strangeumbrella) and as such I bring appropriate gifts for the wonderness of ukulele Maddie, as she is known to my mother (my mother is odd, but nice).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUZZAH!

Also, birthday fic for  strangeumbrellaas well, because I thought she might like it. This is true, Y/N?

Title: Something's Afoot
Fandom: Life On Mars
Pairing: Sam/Gene
Rating: PG13, for swearings
Disclaimer: Life On Mars =/= mine. BBC > Me. Is that enough mathematical signs to convince people that I own nothing?
Word Count:
Summary: There's something strange going on...and Gene is not happy. Er, fluffy crack. I've not written happy!Life On Mars before, but, er, here it is.

Gene Hunt has been around the block a few times. He's seen more than his fair share of hideous things, and he's long since moved past the stomach of a plonk. (There will not, however, be any jokes about 'growing out of' his stomach, or the offender will most likely be thumped).

Even with that in mind, even with all his years on the job, even with his hard-as-damn-strong-nails attitude, he has never seen anything as gut-wrenchingly, indescribably, nauseatingly god-awful as the thing standing in front of him now.

It is Sam Tyler, standing slap-bang in Gene's personal space, with a bow of ribbon looped loosely around his neck and a large bunch of flowers clasped in the left hand, and a crooked, goofy grin plastered across his face.

Oh, and this is in the squad-room, and everyone is staring at them.

It takes Gene a moment to think of any words that could possibly be appropriate for this situation.

Sadly, in the moment Gene takes to react, Sam starts to sing.

"Haaaaaaaappy biiiiiiirthday to youuuuuu," he wails, beaming, and the look in his eyes makes it quite clear that he knows damn well what he's doing and is enjoying every last humiliating minute of it, the bastard.

Sam draws breath and flaps his arms to encourage everyone around him to join in. Slowly, and with no small hint of mockery or indeed any one tune, voices rise and add to Sam's.

Gene is trying quite hard not to turn around and beat his head against the door-frame. That, or smash Sam's face into a desk.

"Haaaaaappy birthday to youuu," Sam continues. "Happy biiiirthday dear GeeeeEEEEeeene, haaa-urk--"

Gene punches him across the face.

Sam reels round to catch himself on a chair, and drops the flowers at Gene's feet. There is utter silence in the room.

Then, Ray (Ray! The betrayal of it all!) shouts, "Pop him one back," and Sam turns back round to face Gene with his smug, shit-eating grin still firmly in place.

"Oh ho ho, Sammy boy," mutters Gene, and he grabs Sam by the collars of his effeminate leather jacket and hurls him into his office.

He slams the door so hard that the blinds fly into the air like considerably lighter curtains, and take a minute to fall, noisily, back into place. He turns to find that, infuriatingly, Sam has somehow managed to scoop up the flowers and is now holding them inches away from Gene's nose.

Gene swears, swats the flowers to the ground and lunges at Sam. Sam darts behind the desk, and Gene is forced to stop trying to throttle him.

"What in the name of anything sacred are you doing, Tyler?" Gene hisses.

Sam looks hurt (and dear God, the man is actually pouting). "It's your birthday," he says, as though that explains everything and Gene is being the unreasonable one here.

Gene grits his teeth. "I know it's me bleeding birthday," he says. "The question I asked was about you, you flaming nutcase."

"I wanted to surprise you," says Sam, in the same little-boy-lost voice. "You know, do something nice. Something you'd remember."

Clearly Sam has some kind of magical powers, because all he does is widen his eyes juuust a bit more and Gene suddenly feels like the ogre who tore the princess's pink party dress.

He bets Sam would look good in a dress. Especially a pink one. With ruffles.

"Just because you and I had--have--are--you know - " and he flaps a hand around in a manner intended to express 'lots-of-sexual-tension-great-ongoing-thingum-and-hot-hot-sex-last-Thursday'. "Anyway. That does not give you the right to do anything as preposterously stupid as this, and especially not where other people can bear witness."

Sam looks a little downtrodden.

Gene pauses.

"That being said," he continues, "I hope you've got some damn booze for this bloody shindig you've got going."

Avoiding Sam's baffled look, Gene stoops down, picks up the flowers and clenches one between his teeth.

"Par-tay," he says, and wiggles his eyebrows.

There is a cheer and the sound of many an alcohol-releasing cork being popped as Gene throws open his office doors and emerges resplendent. As the sound of laughter dies away into a more general roar of enjoyment, Gene turns to Sam, who has moved to stand next to him in the doorway, and finally notices the triumphant look in his eyes.

He knew this would happen all along. He made Gene feel guilty. On his birthday.

Bastard.

(It's a good job he brought a big cake).

*

Comments

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

LOL FIC. LOL MACROS. You win, as per usual, and Maddie will love this. XD

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I am glad to know that you also found my random brain splurge onto the page amusing!

(PS: HELLO. (shh, I randomly greet people. And I've said 'random' too much. IDK I'M TIRED MY BRAIN IS LEAKING.))

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

BASICALLY, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

The first macro made me actually lol, as in genuinely make a noise of laughter so that my dad had to go "what?" and I had to say "er just the internet", because, ahahahahaha Gene's urgency. And and then HI TENNANT (lol wenches) and one of the best LOM caps ever, y/n, their gay never gets old. :D

AND THEN FIC. Like I said about twenty times earlier (along with vaguely idiotic things like "OH WAIT HEY THE HOLE IN MY CEILING HAS DISAPPEARED sorry what?"), basically everything that has happened to day just excites me and the exciting things keep on coming.

It takes Gene a moment to think of any words that could possibly be appropriate for this situation.
Sadly, in the moment Gene takes to react, Sam starts to sing.
I LOL'D. And then I can't explain how much I enjoyed the fact you wrote out the length of the words in the song. And Sam's noise of being hit. (ahaha, my bizarre enjoyment of their violence.)

and he flaps a hand around in a manner intended to express 'lots-of-sexual-tension-great-ongoing-thingum-and-hot-hot-sex-last-Thursday'
HA. (Clearly they do not have problems getting the hang of Thursdays.)

And and I have to do rubbish things now like go to bed, lame, but generally I hope my HUGE APPRECIATION for this post and EXCITEMENT have been conveyed, and ILU. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx