"I will answer your questions but only in the language of a crow"

[mooging]

My morning has not gone particularly well. It has been a tad full of trivial little deviations from nice, simple tasks that has ended in me metaphorically sticking myself to the computer chair and watching Top Gear clips until the stress went away.

I was making myself some breakfast. I had tea and Alpen (muesli). I had poured the hot water into the tea cup when my sister (who is 5) appeared down the stairs. Everything kind of spiraled from there.

SISTER: Can I have some raisins?
TEA: *gets stronger by the second*
ME: OMGZTEA.
SISTER: RAISINS
ME: *dives in the cupboard, pours out the raisins (not noticing that she is actually pouring out currents)*
TEA: AHAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE TOO STRONG TO DRINK SOON!
SISTER: *goes away*
CRISIS 1: *is averted*

A few moments later, as everything is nearly ready and I am preparing to go up the stairs and eat:

SISTER: *re-appears* Don't like these, want a yogurt.
ME: *gets a yogurt*
SISTER: *goes away again*
CURRENTS: *sit in bowl, waiting to go back in the packet*
PACKET: *has a tiny, tiny opening for a lot of currents to fit through*
CURRENTS: *go everywhere*
ME: MUST HURRY.
TEA: AHAHAHA NOW I WILL COOL DOWN RAPIDLY
ME: OMG WANT NICE TEA
MILK: *is poured quickly into Alpen*
MILK: *actually sloshes out of bowl and under the kettle*
ME: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
CLOTH: *refuses to clean milk*
KITCHEN: *smells like milk*
TEA: MWAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE SO DISGUSTING!
ALPEN: And I am going soggy!

CRISIS 2: *leaves Moog a wearied wreck*

Yes, I did over-dramatise that. Yes, I do get perturbed by minor disruptions. Stop mocking me.

Meanwhile, it is the weekend and I have Maths coursework to procrastinate over, so let's play this (stolen from rionaleonhart):

Comment to this post with an idea for a Top Five list (for example, Five Things Top Gear Dog Would Rather Not Have Seen, or Five Times Laura Roslin's Desk Broke, or Five Monday Morning Incidents With Mac's Motorbike). Then, in a separate post in reply to your comment, I will compile the requested list, according to me. Multiple requests are welcomed.

Comments

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I don't mind in the slightest. (and thank you for the nice compliment!) Why can I not write these people happily?! I'm sorry, this went a bit wonky. *covers face*

Five Times Gene Hunt Was Thoroughly Confused.

1) When Sam tells him about the accusation about Woolf, Gene laughs it off and beats up the accuser, like normal, but then, drinking in the pub and seeing Sam sullen and separate from the group, he doesn't like the twinge of doubt in the back of his mind. Confusion isn't normal for him.

2) Afterwards, after Woolf had gone, Sam keeps looking at Gene when he thinks Gene can't see and it's not like Gene's blind. He notices, each and every time, and he doesn't understand why.

3) A few weeks later, in the morning, slightly hung-over, Gene sees the top drawer to his filing cabinet isn't shut properly: he knows he closed it, and locked it, but all the files are in the order he left them and even when he checks that file, that certain file, there's nothing amiss and he thinks, Sam. But then, when he next sees Sam, Gene can't quite bring himself to ask, and it's not like him to shy away from anything and everything is too confusing now.

4) It only gets worse, when it's late and he's still working and Sam comes into his office. His eyes are red. Gene stands up, comes around the desk, stands in front of Sam, folds his arms. Sam grabs him, too quickly for instinct to take over, and Gene is suddenly being kissed by his D.I. and damn it all if he doesn't shove him away. For the sake of appearance, he socks him in the mouth after a minute or two of silence and downcast gazes, and the look in Sam's eyes as he walks out the door is baffling to Gene and a little bit unsettling.

5) The most confused Gene has ever been is the day after that, the day Sam doesn't show up for work. He's not at home. He's not in the pub. He isn't anywhere that Gene looks, and when there's no sign of him the day after that, Gene heads a search party and lets forensics stay in Sam's flat for as long as they bloody like. Nobody finds anything, nothing about Sam, and Gene never expected to feel this...bare without the strange, thin man from Hyde.

Okay, so that kind of tailed off into a thing rather than a list, and it was emo and a bit bad, but...I'll try to do something more cheerful, if you like?

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

OMG PAIN! GENE! ♥ ♥ ♥ You made me want to pet him, and I didn't think that was possible.

I love how this is a story as well as a list, and the sort of Sam-jealousy thing again--and and and Sam leaving everything in place, and that's how Gene knows it's him, oh, love.

And then, and then, the kissing, and For the sake of appearance, he socks him in the mouth, and eeeee and also eeeemo.

And then the last one is heartbreaking, omg.
and lets forensics stay in Sam's flat for as long as they bloody like
That's the bit that got me, argh, so depressingly kind of poignant.

Am I allowed to ask for another? (Not because it was bad, but because it was so good.)

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Five (more) Times Gene Hunt Was Thoroughly Confused: The Crack!fic Version

1) A lot of these times are quite clearly Sam's fault. They can't be Gene's fault, because he was always quite clear about everything until Sam wandered his crazy ass in from whatever havoc he was wreaking in Hyde and made Gene care about forensics. All the words to do with this have far too many letters for anything, and it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference whether they're written down or spoken aloud, Gene will still not like him. After the trillionth time he's watched Sam's mouth roll out the complicated terminology, he resigns himself to this complacent woe at least every other time Sam speaks.

2) When he realised he'd been watching Sam's mouth.

3) The time Sam came in his office and caught him actually doing paperwork, labouring over something trival and pointless and staring with brow-wrinkled intensity at one of the most challenging science words he'd had the displeasure to face, which also happened to be written in the world's most scrawling handwriting other than his own.

"You can copy my report, if you like," said Sam.

Taken slightly off guard (although not really, because Gene Hunt has the reflexes of a Super Genius Cat), Gene said, "The day I have to copy something you did, Sammy-boy, will be the day I grab that poncey leather jacket of yours and haul you up to my mouth to play 'trap-the-tongue' with you, and that, Daphne, will be a sad day for humanity."

Sam shrugged, said "Whatever you like," and got all the way to the door before adding, "Nice comparision, by the way", and left.

Gene wasn't expecting that.

4) When he realised the first thought in his mind when searching for something suitably crushing to say to Sam was to make Not Gay Kissing references.

5) All of these faded away to comparison, however, when Sam managed to take him completely by surprise by kissing him without warning in the locker room, and Gene found his hands betraying him and pushing Sam back against the wall.

*

(See? Happier fic! Okay, so the characterison goes a bit to hell, but happy!)

[strangeumbrella.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I love you. It's like an insane journey to the lightest and darkest ends of the LoM universe, in ten points.

I really do love any instance in which Gene does paperwork, because it always means it is particularly important/poignant/etc. Also, because Gene Hunt has the reflexes of a Super Genius Cat. AHAHAHAHAHA. yes he does.

And KISSING. And generally, erm, the WHOLE THING. (My comments win at incoherency, incidentally.) ♥ x many!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked this one! It was strange to write happy!LOM fic, because...well, it seems vaguely impossible.

I really do love any instance in which Gene does paperwork, because it always means it is particularly important/poignant/etc. - I agree on this: you may notice that in both the teeny tiny ficlets I wrote there, Gene does paperwork. You see, this indicates IMPORTANTNESS. *nods*

Another trend you may have noticed is that I like to include kissing. Um. I can think of no reason for this that is better formed than sdalkdqSGJhjdf PRETTY.