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Apr. 14th, 2006 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moogingJust watched Merlin's Apprentice. Well. What is there to say?
Warning - this will be long and ranty.
First of all, I need to get this off my chest. OMG - what was with the total screwing over of Merlin canon?! I mean, I know the first Merlin thing was a kind of amalgamation of Arthurian legends, but Merlin's Apprentice managed to kill even that. First of all, it was set after Arthur had died...ok, fair enough, he did die in the first one. On the battlefield, fighting Mordred. But this one seemed to have him dead while Merlin was sleeping.
Also, Camelot appeared to have had the Holy Grail at some point, while Arthur was still alive. Riiight. I'm sure I've read about that in legend, but in the first Merlin? No. In the first Merlin (and forgive me if this is wrong, I'm working off the top of my head here) Arthur + trusty-knights go off looking for said shiny cup, and come back with nothing. There's even a nice little voice-over from Merlin to tell us that it would be in vain. *deep sigh* And then Arthur comes back to fight Mordred and dies on the battlefield. In Merlin's Apprentice? Arthur has the Holy Grail and dies somewhere we don't see.
Putting aside these niggles, I still didn't like it. To clarify how much so, I don't like Sam Neill. I really, really don't - the first thing I saw him in was The Piano in which he is 'omgnasty'. In Merlin? I found him smug and patronising and irritating. In Merlin's Apprentice? He was the most likable character. Which says something. And then he died and the whole thing imploded under its own shittyness.
The main characters were all youngish and could they act? No, they could not. As in they reeeeeeally couldn't. And I did not care about a single one of them.
As far as the plot (hah!) went, (aside from the butchering of canon previously mentioned) it was possibly the most predictable thing ever. "There's a stain on Camelot - that's why the Grail will not return". One - IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN THERE! Let's suspect people - obligatory angst for Merlin ("how could I have deserted Camelot when it needed me?") followed by suspecting virginal maid ("Rawr you be liar") who is cleared although it's totally got something to do with her followed by the king looking randomly crazy when people turn away from him, followed by some bad people being bad and killed BUT it's actually got something to do with said virginal maid and CRAZY!king.
*deep breath* Setting all that crap aside, let's focus on Miranda. She, of course was lovely like whoa, though the hair!wig thing was slightly less than flattering. Also, the dress thing she was wearing was such a bright blue that I spent a lot of time going "BLIND!" rather than admiring her pretty. I adored Mab in the first Merlin, but this Lady of the Lake? It was not fully explained why she was evil, other than a throw-away line about the lakes/rivers being poisoned. And Miranda was hardly around. *sigh* Also, she was totally not evil. She worked for the 'enemy' - ok. But she didn't do anything. She was just kind of a pet of the other side. And her evilness? Consisted of trying to bribe Jack, having Merlin killed and then screaming at Jack - and even that wasn't as swooshy as when original!Mab did.
Mab/LotL's death? Was a pile of crap. It was all "here, let me go blue light! on you" and Mab/Lady was all "Eeee I crush into water and die!". Where is the power in that? My Mab wouldn't take that, I tell you.
Something I did like though, and there are only three things.
1. The creation of Jack, the Apprentice. Being that he is the son of Merlin and Mab/Lady of the Lake (the character in this was totally a mix of the two) and only in the world by what was basically Mab/Lady of the Lake raping/magically raping Merlin while he was in a sleep that she put him in (which I loved like whoa by the way - showed just how complicated and freakish their relationship is (especially if you consider the fact that Mab basically mothered Merlin - what with her creating him and raising him and all) and how messed up Mab really is) it was twisted and dark and wrong and brilliant.
2. The end of the first part, with Camelot under siege because Mab (She is Mab. More Mab than the Lady of the Lake at any rate) is clever and the Camelot folk are not. This is where Merlin dies. He dies saving everyone by draining alllll his magic to build one huge bridge out of there, and just when he's keeling over to die - Mab appears and is all "Ahahahaha!! I finally defeat you!!" and orders her lackey guy to kill him. Just the last efforts of Merlin to help people and the last meeting between two adversaries - I liked that.
3. The fact that if you looked hard enough, there was character development in Mab/LotL - she was more human. She seemed to care about being alone - hence Jack. And I liked that she and Merlin were parents to a child; it just summed up the weirdness between them and the almost co-dependency of it all.
And that's about it. All done with the ranting!
I need to do a real-life entry now and I'll post this on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
miranda_fans so sorry if you get this twice!
Warning - this will be long and ranty.
First of all, I need to get this off my chest. OMG - what was with the total screwing over of Merlin canon?! I mean, I know the first Merlin thing was a kind of amalgamation of Arthurian legends, but Merlin's Apprentice managed to kill even that. First of all, it was set after Arthur had died...ok, fair enough, he did die in the first one. On the battlefield, fighting Mordred. But this one seemed to have him dead while Merlin was sleeping.
Also, Camelot appeared to have had the Holy Grail at some point, while Arthur was still alive. Riiight. I'm sure I've read about that in legend, but in the first Merlin? No. In the first Merlin (and forgive me if this is wrong, I'm working off the top of my head here) Arthur + trusty-knights go off looking for said shiny cup, and come back with nothing. There's even a nice little voice-over from Merlin to tell us that it would be in vain. *deep sigh* And then Arthur comes back to fight Mordred and dies on the battlefield. In Merlin's Apprentice? Arthur has the Holy Grail and dies somewhere we don't see.
Putting aside these niggles, I still didn't like it. To clarify how much so, I don't like Sam Neill. I really, really don't - the first thing I saw him in was The Piano in which he is 'omgnasty'. In Merlin? I found him smug and patronising and irritating. In Merlin's Apprentice? He was the most likable character. Which says something. And then he died and the whole thing imploded under its own shittyness.
The main characters were all youngish and could they act? No, they could not. As in they reeeeeeally couldn't. And I did not care about a single one of them.
As far as the plot (hah!) went, (aside from the butchering of canon previously mentioned) it was possibly the most predictable thing ever. "There's a stain on Camelot - that's why the Grail will not return". One - IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN THERE! Let's suspect people - obligatory angst for Merlin ("how could I have deserted Camelot when it needed me?") followed by suspecting virginal maid ("Rawr you be liar") who is cleared although it's totally got something to do with her followed by the king looking randomly crazy when people turn away from him, followed by some bad people being bad and killed BUT it's actually got something to do with said virginal maid and CRAZY!king.
*deep breath* Setting all that crap aside, let's focus on Miranda. She, of course was lovely like whoa, though the hair!wig thing was slightly less than flattering. Also, the dress thing she was wearing was such a bright blue that I spent a lot of time going "BLIND!" rather than admiring her pretty. I adored Mab in the first Merlin, but this Lady of the Lake? It was not fully explained why she was evil, other than a throw-away line about the lakes/rivers being poisoned. And Miranda was hardly around. *sigh* Also, she was totally not evil. She worked for the 'enemy' - ok. But she didn't do anything. She was just kind of a pet of the other side. And her evilness? Consisted of trying to bribe Jack, having Merlin killed and then screaming at Jack - and even that wasn't as swooshy as when original!Mab did.
Mab/LotL's death? Was a pile of crap. It was all "here, let me go blue light! on you" and Mab/Lady was all "Eeee I crush into water and die!". Where is the power in that? My Mab wouldn't take that, I tell you.
Something I did like though, and there are only three things.
1. The creation of Jack, the Apprentice. Being that he is the son of Merlin and Mab/Lady of the Lake (the character in this was totally a mix of the two) and only in the world by what was basically Mab/Lady of the Lake raping/magically raping Merlin while he was in a sleep that she put him in (which I loved like whoa by the way - showed just how complicated and freakish their relationship is (especially if you consider the fact that Mab basically mothered Merlin - what with her creating him and raising him and all) and how messed up Mab really is) it was twisted and dark and wrong and brilliant.
2. The end of the first part, with Camelot under siege because Mab (She is Mab. More Mab than the Lady of the Lake at any rate) is clever and the Camelot folk are not. This is where Merlin dies. He dies saving everyone by draining alllll his magic to build one huge bridge out of there, and just when he's keeling over to die - Mab appears and is all "Ahahahaha!! I finally defeat you!!" and orders her lackey guy to kill him. Just the last efforts of Merlin to help people and the last meeting between two adversaries - I liked that.
3. The fact that if you looked hard enough, there was character development in Mab/LotL - she was more human. She seemed to care about being alone - hence Jack. And I liked that she and Merlin were parents to a child; it just summed up the weirdness between them and the almost co-dependency of it all.
And that's about it. All done with the ranting!
I need to do a real-life entry now and I'll post this on
miranda_fans so sorry if you get this twice!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 05:37 pm (UTC)As I've said many, many times, I really dislike the first Merlin, and if this is worse... well, probably shouldn't see it at all. There's just too much twisting of mythical crap, and too many battle scenes... it's like watching bloody LoTR (don't hurt me for that!) I rather like Sam Neill, though... and thought he was kind of teh sex in The Piano, but we won't discuss that, will we?
About point 3: character development? In Merlin? My God.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 05:40 pm (UTC)Point 3 - I said 'if you look hard'. Or it could have been my way of trying to find something good about the mess that it was!
Don't comment on the almost!incest then. ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 11:55 pm (UTC)Erm, what can I say? I so agree, Mab would NEVER die that easily, and especially would never be killed by that callow youth. She wasn't in it enough...and dare I say this, when she was, she didn't look like she was trying all that hard... *gasp* But I don't blame her. What a pile of cack. This should never be allowed to cloud our memories of wonderful first Merlin. However, Miranda not trying is actually still pretty genius, especially compared to the sad pathetic attempts at acting from the rest of the cast. Sam was love, then he died. That was fatal. Don't let the young idiot boy carry the whole thing...
The young cast? Should be shot. Especially the two girls.
I am also angry at the continuity thing...what the hell was going on?!! This is a bad, bad thing.
I cannot stress how bad this is. Moogie, you know you said it was down there with Get Carter remake? I'm putting it lower. I'm actually thinking quite fondly of Get Carter.
V long comment. Anm going to cry about how bad it really was.
Moogie made my new icon!! Look pretty Mark!!! YEY! :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
no subject
Date: 2006-04-15 09:34 am (UTC)Yeah, I agree with Miranda not trying that hard - but really, the whole thing was shite of the highest order. And yes, even Miranda not really trying is Oscar-worthy compared to everybody else (ok, I won't include Sam Neill so as not to upset you) *smites them all*
Killing Merlin was a stupid thing to do because it had the result of killing the whole of the rest of the thing, even though it wasn't that good before he died - with the exception of the rape thing (see other comments to clarify this)
In fact, the only parts I will remember from this are the numbered ones at the bottom of that rant. The rest needs to be wiped from my memory.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-14 11:59 pm (UTC)Am going to go think of Mab in that cave...ooorwwww....
no subject
Date: 2006-04-15 09:30 am (UTC)Mab/Merlin rape = hot, yes.
We have had this discussion before, but it does need mentioning!
no subject
Date: 2006-04-15 11:41 am (UTC)xx