fic(let): how not to fix a leak
Jan. 13th, 2011 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moogingSomewhere over the last few days, I started thinking about Dollhouse and how I really loved it, and then I looked at picspams and things and remembered why I had to distance myself from it after finishing the last episode last year and that reason was HEARTBREAK.
But I also remembered that I wrote this thing for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
whedonland and didn't post it here. So here it is for the sake of, idk, having everything in one place? Also, because I didn't mention this either, it won the challenge I submitted it for, which was THE FIRST TIME ANYTHING I'VE WRITTEN HAS EVER WON ANYTHING \0/ \0/ \0/. The challenge prompt, I think, was 'april showers'. And other people wrote things of actual quality and drama and intrigue and things, and I... wrote this.
No spoilers for anything. Also no common sense or dignity, but then Topher is involved, so.
title: how not to fix a leak
fandom: dollhouse
word count: < 500.
disclaimer: not mine! nothing is mine! just playing.
summary: It's raining in Topher's office. Raining. In his office.
"It's raining in my office."
"It's..."
"Raining! In my office!" Topher's voice gets, justifiably, noticeably higher.
Adelle does not so much look like she is sympathetic to his plight, but rather questioning why he is dripping on her carpet, which has doubtlessly been hand-woven by orphaned silkworms (...mutant orphan silkworms with hands, whatever, Topher is too busy freaking out about how it is raining in his office, hello to be bothered about little things like worms not having hands).
Adelle still hasn't said anything, so: "It's raining in my office!" Topher does not feel this is overkill at all.
Adelle deigns to raise an eyebrow. "I believe I've grasped the basic problem."
Topher drips, moodily.
"I trust none of the equipment has malfunctioned," Adelle says, far more calmly than the situation calls for.
"Well, if you mean that none of the tech has gone ka-blooey, then, no, none of it has, but if you mean that I am getting rained on in my indoor office, which also happens to be underground, so if it turns out to be raining sewage all over the billion dollar tech I would be disgusted but definitely not surprised - and I would consider myself a vital part of that tech, seeing as I'm the one that makes it tech in the first place, then, yes, yes, there's a malfunction. Humans are supposed to stay dry! Dry!"
There is a pause.
Admittedly Topher may be slightly overreacting. That could be said. He tries to get his hands back by his side; they seem to have been gesticulating in front of his face without his involvement or consent.
The pause gets longer. It becomes a Pause, but then a lot of otherwise innocuous nouns become Nouns, capital letters and everything, around Adelle DeWitt. Topher thinks it's because she's British. They have Powers.
No, seriously, this pause has gone on a bit too long now. Someone needs to say something, and it can't be Topher, because he's said quite a lot of -
"It's raining in my office!"
- things. Never mind.
"Have you finished?"
If he didn't know better, and this situation wasn't extremely important, and also it never happened, Topher would think Adelle was trying to hide a smile.
"Yes," Topher says, hoping he doesn't sound as petulant as he feels, standing in cold, damp clothes and thinking about how soggy his couch will be getting. With a show of enormous self-restraint, he bites back apart from have I mentioned how my office is being rained on, because I don't quite think you've got that yet.
"Well then," Adelle says, "I suggest you get back to work."
"But - "
"It's being taken care of," she tells him, like that's the end of it.
"But I - "
Adelle hands him an umbrella.
But I also remembered that I wrote this thing for
whedonland and didn't post it here. So here it is for the sake of, idk, having everything in one place? Also, because I didn't mention this either, it won the challenge I submitted it for, which was THE FIRST TIME ANYTHING I'VE WRITTEN HAS EVER WON ANYTHING \0/ \0/ \0/. The challenge prompt, I think, was 'april showers'. And other people wrote things of actual quality and drama and intrigue and things, and I... wrote this. No spoilers for anything. Also no common sense or dignity, but then Topher is involved, so.
title: how not to fix a leak
fandom: dollhouse
word count: < 500.
disclaimer: not mine! nothing is mine! just playing.
summary: It's raining in Topher's office. Raining. In his office.
"It's raining in my office."
"It's..."
"Raining! In my office!" Topher's voice gets, justifiably, noticeably higher.
Adelle does not so much look like she is sympathetic to his plight, but rather questioning why he is dripping on her carpet, which has doubtlessly been hand-woven by orphaned silkworms (...mutant orphan silkworms with hands, whatever, Topher is too busy freaking out about how it is raining in his office, hello to be bothered about little things like worms not having hands).
Adelle still hasn't said anything, so: "It's raining in my office!" Topher does not feel this is overkill at all.
Adelle deigns to raise an eyebrow. "I believe I've grasped the basic problem."
Topher drips, moodily.
"I trust none of the equipment has malfunctioned," Adelle says, far more calmly than the situation calls for.
"Well, if you mean that none of the tech has gone ka-blooey, then, no, none of it has, but if you mean that I am getting rained on in my indoor office, which also happens to be underground, so if it turns out to be raining sewage all over the billion dollar tech I would be disgusted but definitely not surprised - and I would consider myself a vital part of that tech, seeing as I'm the one that makes it tech in the first place, then, yes, yes, there's a malfunction. Humans are supposed to stay dry! Dry!"
There is a pause.
Admittedly Topher may be slightly overreacting. That could be said. He tries to get his hands back by his side; they seem to have been gesticulating in front of his face without his involvement or consent.
The pause gets longer. It becomes a Pause, but then a lot of otherwise innocuous nouns become Nouns, capital letters and everything, around Adelle DeWitt. Topher thinks it's because she's British. They have Powers.
No, seriously, this pause has gone on a bit too long now. Someone needs to say something, and it can't be Topher, because he's said quite a lot of -
"It's raining in my office!"
- things. Never mind.
"Have you finished?"
If he didn't know better, and this situation wasn't extremely important, and also it never happened, Topher would think Adelle was trying to hide a smile.
"Yes," Topher says, hoping he doesn't sound as petulant as he feels, standing in cold, damp clothes and thinking about how soggy his couch will be getting. With a show of enormous self-restraint, he bites back apart from have I mentioned how my office is being rained on, because I don't quite think you've got that yet.
"Well then," Adelle says, "I suggest you get back to work."
"But - "
"It's being taken care of," she tells him, like that's the end of it.
"But I - "
Adelle hands him an umbrella.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-26 11:40 pm (UTC)MUTANT ORPHAN SILKWORMS WITH HANDS. THE CAPITAL LETTERS THING. SO TRUE. ADELLLLLE. TOPHER INTERRUPTING HIS OWN THOUGHTS. ADELLE HANDING HIM AN UMBRELLA! GENIUS.
You def need to write some of the weird!Ben bits in our fic, because COMEDY: YOU DO IT WELL.
I just went scrolling through my icons expecting, for some reason, that there would be a Dollhouse one there EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN LOOKED FOR ANY. Have a Tilda one instead. ALWAYS APPROPRIATE.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 12:54 am (UTC)I am super glad you liked this! I was worried at the time about getting Topher right - I caaaan't write him now, idek where that's gone - but I just went with manic and flappy hands and this is how it turned out. And thank you bb, you are too lovely re: me writing comedy. YOU SAY SUCH NICE AND UNDESERVED THINGS TO MEEEE.
YOU SHOULD GET A DOLLHOUSE ICON! Or more than one! Don't go looking until you've seen the second season though - unless this comes TOO LATE and you've already looked - because most icon posts are SUPER spoilertastic. Here is one of my favourite icons though. LOOK AT HER.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:33 am (UTC)THE NICE THINGS I SAY TO YOU ARE NOT UNDESERVED AT ALL, SHH WITH THAT.
Yooooour icon. ♥_♥
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:40 am (UTC)AJSHDSHGFJHGDS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT ASGDGFJHGSDF
BRB HEART BREAKING.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:51 am (UTC)TO COUNTERACT THE HEARTBREAKING-NESS OF THE OTHER ONE
OR SOMETHING
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:56 am (UTC)"WHAT'S IT MADE OF? SCIENCE DOESN'T KNOW!"
"OH MY GOD, I FIND LENTILS COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE."
...
"I COULD EAT THAT WORD. OR A CRISP! DO YOU HAVE ANY CRISPS?"
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MY DRAWER OF INAPPROPRIATE STARCHES? C'MON C'MON C'MON."
"OH MY GOD, I'M HAVING SUCH A TERRIBLE DAY."
ALWAYS RELEVANT.
~matching icons~
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 01:59 am (UTC)OH, IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH.
ICONS OF THIS SCENE ARE A NECESSITY. MAN, IT'S JUST THE BEST.
Now I want to go rewatch it again. I WAS GOING TO GO TO SLEEP, but. INAPPROPRIATE STARCHES.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-27 02:05 am (UTC)"I AM YOUR SUPERIOR."
"IN EVERY WAY. GO CHECK."