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Jun. 26th, 2006 08:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moogingWork Experience started today! I am super British-Girl; I work in a library and I drink tea. AT THE SAME TIME.
I feel it is necessary to regale you all with amusing tales of My First Day on Work Experience in a Library.
The first half did not go by too badly. I spent the first two and half hours being shown round and then having tea. That was fun. Sadly, then I had to go and do actual librarian stuff. That involves issuing (scanning/date-stamping books so that people can take them away) and discharging (scanning books back into the library). Both of these things must be done in front of people.
There are four main incidents that I need to draw direct attention to. They involve a photocopier, me making this noise - "jkdsjkbdasjb", a crappy numerical sorting system, a woman with no spine and a ridiculous name and a laser. Intrigued? Read on...
One: Do You Know the Alphabet?
I was asked, today, at 15, if I knew how to put things in alphabetical order. I was mildly insulted. See, the library shelves things in two ways; fiction books run all round the back walls in alphabetical order of the author's last name, which is logical. However, non-fiction books are in several billion catagories (craft, architecture and history for example) and in several billion different places. To make things 'easier' (pssshaw, easier), all of these have been assigned a number - the more specific the book, the longer the number after the decimal point. Take 'animals'. If you wanted a book on animals, the number would be 636. If you wanted a book on dogs, you would look for 636.7. Then a book on how to raise dogs would be 636.76. Then a book on how-to-not-kill-a-demon-dog-when-it-bites-you-in-the-neck-and-yet-emerge-not-dead would be 636.7698479, for example. Yes?
As luck would have it, the first shelving job I had to do involved about seven non-fiction books. All of which had different billion number combinations. I had no idea which number meant which subject, and so wandered around the library clutching a mountain of books and looking for many numbers for about half an hour. There was this one book, on 'Camping and Walking in Europe', and seriously, where should the damn thing go? There's 'camping', which is clearly 'holidays', Europe - geography amd walking - travel/transport. Or the whole thing could be under 'Guides'. Would you like to know where the bastard went? RECREATION. There were THREE OTHER BOOKS THERE. It took me ten whole minutes to match its buggery little number. *kills it dead*
Two: Lasers and Book Injuring
Another thing about libraries: to issue books, a little shiny laser thing is used, which only has to be vaguely waved in the direction of a barcode to register the books. To discharge books, a manual scraping thing has to be used, which needs to be dragged across a barcode several times before it even thinks about working. The first time I tried to use the scraping thing, I tore the page of the book (WOE). The second time I tried, it wouldn't register the book. Doom over there.
Meanwhile, over in the issuing books section, things went a little more smoothly. It's a little tricky at first; you have to talk to the person, scan the barcode with the shiny laser and keep an eye on the computer screen in case any little message thing comes up before stamping the date into the book. While checking the computer screen, there is no point in putting the shiny laser thing down - it only takes a second and then it is needed back for stampings. Sadly, it took me until 3pm this afternoon, having worked since half 9 that morning, to realise this: IT'S A SODDING LASER. Therefore it = blinding red light. I probably shouldn't have waved it around as much. *facepalm*
Three: Photocopiers and Other Traumas
Later on this afternoon, it was my duty to photocopy various newspaper articles. On a photocopier. I had never used one of these things ever before ever. However, I figured out what to prod and when, and how to change the paper size. This did not stop me from taking about five attempts to copy the same damn thing though - it's surprising how particular you have to be in positioning the paper so that it all copies, really it is. Please say it is.
All was going well until (frakking 'until') I slipped while holding some paper down and my elbow hit the keypad. All of a sudden, instead of saying 'Quantity = 1', it said 'Quantity = 41'. The next few minutes passed a little like this:
PHOTOCOPIER: AHAHAHAHAHAHA FEAR MY WRATH!
ME: WOE!
PHOTOCOPIER: I will not change back to one copy!
ME: *poking every button on the keypad* ARGH!
PHOTOCOPIER: *submits to my will and changes back to one copy*
ME: *wipes brow*
PHOTOCOPIER: Don't think this doesn't mean I won't frak up later.
I never want to touch it ever ever again ever. Sadly, I have to spend the morning photocopying on Thursday. I then had to cut up the photocopies with a pair of scissors that were heavier than anything man ever made (I had to use both hands to move them, which made holding the paper impossible and people look at me all "You spaz fool, why can you not hold scissors?!") and date them. Sadly, there was not a date on each thing and could I be bothered to go back through the newspapers to look for each article? Could I hell. Therefore, the local newpaper clippings may be a bit thin and crap for this month. *shifty looks*
Four: What, Huh and also FNAR!
Another of my duties this afternoon was to issue this lady with a new library card. Although we have to have proof of name and address, we also have to ask for them vocally, to avoid the lies. (LIES! People want to bring down the library system!). The whole exchange went like this:
ME: Name, please?
LADY: It's Ashdwpjdsoodwjkbuyfzakl (A/N: I'm not kidding. It was that odd)
ME:.....Could you please repeat that please? (Oh God)
LADY: It's Ashdwpjdsoodwjkbuyfzakl
ME: And...how would that be spelt?
LADY: A...S....H...*veryfast* DWPJDSOODWJKBUYFZAJK!!
ME:...shit
(Some guessing later - and no, the written text made no more sense than her gabbled name)
ME: And your address?
LADY: It's fdjkdjldas Cottage
ME:God, why do you hate me so?
(Yet more joyous guessing and license taking with spelling later)
ME: If you could just stay there for a moment while I enter this into the computer and get you a pin number for that card, so you can re-new books over the internet?
LADY:....
(A few minutes and some computer bashing later)
ME: *turning round* Ok, so here...WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU?!
I then proceeded to search the library. She was found looking aimless somewhere.
ME: So, there you go goawayfrommenow
LADY: Do you have any books on knitting?
ME: Yes, they're in the 'Craft' section.
LADY: Thank you.
(Several minutes later)
LADY: *approaching me* Where's the 'craft' section?
ME: *takes her there*
(More minutes later)
LADY: *approaching me* Where are the knitting books?
ME: OH I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE UNDER 'CRAFT', WHERE I TOOK YOU AND WHERE YOUR EYES SAW THE KNITTING BOOKS?!
Although what I actually said was more along the lines of: "In the craft section, right over there. Allow me to get you a more senior member of staff'. I am so restrained!
If you don't feel like reading all of that, let me tell you that Three and Four were the highlights, and Four is well worth your time, if you want to despair at the human race.
Tomorrow at the library, I only have to be on the counter for the morning and then I get to go away into a dark room and put leaflets into packets. I feel special! *dance*
I feel it is necessary to regale you all with amusing tales of My First Day on Work Experience in a Library.
The first half did not go by too badly. I spent the first two and half hours being shown round and then having tea. That was fun. Sadly, then I had to go and do actual librarian stuff. That involves issuing (scanning/date-stamping books so that people can take them away) and discharging (scanning books back into the library). Both of these things must be done in front of people.
There are four main incidents that I need to draw direct attention to. They involve a photocopier, me making this noise - "jkdsjkbdasjb", a crappy numerical sorting system, a woman with no spine and a ridiculous name and a laser. Intrigued? Read on...
One: Do You Know the Alphabet?
I was asked, today, at 15, if I knew how to put things in alphabetical order. I was mildly insulted. See, the library shelves things in two ways; fiction books run all round the back walls in alphabetical order of the author's last name, which is logical. However, non-fiction books are in several billion catagories (craft, architecture and history for example) and in several billion different places. To make things 'easier' (pssshaw, easier), all of these have been assigned a number - the more specific the book, the longer the number after the decimal point. Take 'animals'. If you wanted a book on animals, the number would be 636. If you wanted a book on dogs, you would look for 636.7. Then a book on how to raise dogs would be 636.76. Then a book on how-to-not-kill-a-demon-dog-when-it-bites-you-in-the-neck-and-yet-emerge-not-dead would be 636.7698479, for example. Yes?
As luck would have it, the first shelving job I had to do involved about seven non-fiction books. All of which had different billion number combinations. I had no idea which number meant which subject, and so wandered around the library clutching a mountain of books and looking for many numbers for about half an hour. There was this one book, on 'Camping and Walking in Europe', and seriously, where should the damn thing go? There's 'camping', which is clearly 'holidays', Europe - geography amd walking - travel/transport. Or the whole thing could be under 'Guides'. Would you like to know where the bastard went? RECREATION. There were THREE OTHER BOOKS THERE. It took me ten whole minutes to match its buggery little number. *kills it dead*
Two: Lasers and Book Injuring
Another thing about libraries: to issue books, a little shiny laser thing is used, which only has to be vaguely waved in the direction of a barcode to register the books. To discharge books, a manual scraping thing has to be used, which needs to be dragged across a barcode several times before it even thinks about working. The first time I tried to use the scraping thing, I tore the page of the book (WOE). The second time I tried, it wouldn't register the book. Doom over there.
Meanwhile, over in the issuing books section, things went a little more smoothly. It's a little tricky at first; you have to talk to the person, scan the barcode with the shiny laser and keep an eye on the computer screen in case any little message thing comes up before stamping the date into the book. While checking the computer screen, there is no point in putting the shiny laser thing down - it only takes a second and then it is needed back for stampings. Sadly, it took me until 3pm this afternoon, having worked since half 9 that morning, to realise this: IT'S A SODDING LASER. Therefore it = blinding red light. I probably shouldn't have waved it around as much. *facepalm*
Three: Photocopiers and Other Traumas
Later on this afternoon, it was my duty to photocopy various newspaper articles. On a photocopier. I had never used one of these things ever before ever. However, I figured out what to prod and when, and how to change the paper size. This did not stop me from taking about five attempts to copy the same damn thing though - it's surprising how particular you have to be in positioning the paper so that it all copies, really it is. Please say it is.
All was going well until (frakking 'until') I slipped while holding some paper down and my elbow hit the keypad. All of a sudden, instead of saying 'Quantity = 1', it said 'Quantity = 41'. The next few minutes passed a little like this:
PHOTOCOPIER: AHAHAHAHAHAHA FEAR MY WRATH!
ME: WOE!
PHOTOCOPIER: I will not change back to one copy!
ME: *poking every button on the keypad* ARGH!
PHOTOCOPIER: *submits to my will and changes back to one copy*
ME: *wipes brow*
PHOTOCOPIER: Don't think this doesn't mean I won't frak up later.
I never want to touch it ever ever again ever. Sadly, I have to spend the morning photocopying on Thursday. I then had to cut up the photocopies with a pair of scissors that were heavier than anything man ever made (I had to use both hands to move them, which made holding the paper impossible and people look at me all "You spaz fool, why can you not hold scissors?!") and date them. Sadly, there was not a date on each thing and could I be bothered to go back through the newspapers to look for each article? Could I hell. Therefore, the local newpaper clippings may be a bit thin and crap for this month. *shifty looks*
Four: What, Huh and also FNAR!
Another of my duties this afternoon was to issue this lady with a new library card. Although we have to have proof of name and address, we also have to ask for them vocally, to avoid the lies. (LIES! People want to bring down the library system!). The whole exchange went like this:
ME: Name, please?
LADY: It's Ashdwpjdsoodwjkbuyfzakl (A/N: I'm not kidding. It was that odd)
ME:.....Could you please repeat that please? (Oh God)
LADY: It's Ashdwpjdsoodwjkbuyfzakl
ME: And...how would that be spelt?
LADY: A...S....H...*veryfast* DWPJDSOODWJKBUYFZAJK!!
ME:...shit
(Some guessing later - and no, the written text made no more sense than her gabbled name)
ME: And your address?
LADY: It's fdjkdjldas Cottage
ME:God, why do you hate me so?
(Yet more joyous guessing and license taking with spelling later)
ME: If you could just stay there for a moment while I enter this into the computer and get you a pin number for that card, so you can re-new books over the internet?
LADY:....
(A few minutes and some computer bashing later)
ME: *turning round* Ok, so here...WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU?!
I then proceeded to search the library. She was found looking aimless somewhere.
ME: So, there you go goawayfrommenow
LADY: Do you have any books on knitting?
ME: Yes, they're in the 'Craft' section.
LADY: Thank you.
(Several minutes later)
LADY: *approaching me* Where's the 'craft' section?
ME: *takes her there*
(More minutes later)
LADY: *approaching me* Where are the knitting books?
ME: OH I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE UNDER 'CRAFT', WHERE I TOOK YOU AND WHERE YOUR EYES SAW THE KNITTING BOOKS?!
Although what I actually said was more along the lines of: "In the craft section, right over there. Allow me to get you a more senior member of staff'. I am so restrained!
If you don't feel like reading all of that, let me tell you that Three and Four were the highlights, and Four is well worth your time, if you want to despair at the human race.
Tomorrow at the library, I only have to be on the counter for the morning and then I get to go away into a dark room and put leaflets into packets. I feel special! *dance*
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-26 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-27 06:56 am (UTC)