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mooging(masterpost // part one // part two)
disclaimer: really not true
double disclaimer: unresearched, unbeta'd, unapologetically ridiculous
~scenes from a nature preserve island~
aka
SWISS FAMILY HOMOSEXUAL
disclaimer: really not true
double disclaimer: unresearched, unbeta'd, unapologetically ridiculous. I JUST LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS, OKAY.
Look, the thing Eduardo needs to understand is that Mark's life so far has simply not equipped him for certain things in life. He has a certain skill set, and he's perfectly happy about that. Or at least, he was until it turned out that Eduardo is apparently brilliant at everything else.
"How are you doing this?" Mark yells, over the sound of the waves, as Eduardo emerges triumphant from the shallows with a fish impaled on the end of their makeshift spear. "When did you learn how to do this? You went to college in Boston!"
Eduardo shrugs cheerfully and lopes up the beach, shaking out his hair like a dog.
Mark splutters and shields his face.
It is possible that life on an island comprised solely of nature is not bringing out Mark's most dignified side.
"I spent a lot of time outside as a kid," Eduardo explains, flopping down in the shade next to Mark. "I learnt these things."
"You can't keep using that as a reason," Mark tells him, grumpily. "That is not a reason. I bet I could have found tons of outdoorsy people who couldn't impale fish."
"Everyone can use forks, Mark," Eduardo teases, and leans over to drip on Mark's bare stomach.
Mark yelps and squirms away. Eduardo laughs, and drags him down into the sand to kiss him.
//
Mark really, really hates sand.
Like, really.
Like, getting sand in places is causing him more grief than the entire rest of the zombie apocalypse.
"Stop scratching," Eduardo mumbles into Mark's shoulder, as Mark fidgets and pulls faces into their pillows and generally vehemently hates sand.
The pillows are lying on a billion layers of palm leaves but they are still covered in sand.
Mark revolutionised virtual social communication at the age of 19 and his ideas weren't half as pervasive as sand.
"I can't," Mark tells him, on the perilous edge of a whine. "I have sand everywhere."
Eduardo kisses the back of his neck. "I know," he says, patiently. "Go to sleep."
"That is not a solution," Mark complains.
Eduardo swats him the edge of the sleeping bags. It's colder on the beach at night that Mark was expecting, even under their handmade shelter.
Their second handmade shelter, that is. The one that Eduardo made when Mark's perfect shelter turned out to be slightly less than optimum at several unimportant aspects of being a shelter, like standing up. And sheltering them from things.
Whatever.
Mark's not bitter.
He's good at plenty of things.
Like hating sand.
//
"Get out of the sun," Eduardo calls, from halfway up a tree. "We don't have any sun block. You'll burn."
"You are up a tree," Mark shouts back. "You don't get to have opinions until you stop acting less like a primate."
"You'll regret it," Eduardo yells, shimmying further up. Mark is one hundred percent sure he does not possess the leg muscles that would allow him to do that.
"Shut up and get me some fruit," Mark yells up at him.
"Get out of the sun, Mark," Eduardo shouts down.
Mark scoots further away from the tree line. He's perfectly capable of judging when he's had enough sun. He's not a child. He's not the one in a tree right now. He clearly has the upper hand in this argument.
It's not even that hot out, anyway.
//
"Ow."
"Sorry."
"Ow!"
"Sorry!"
"Fucking ouch, Wardo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Eduardo leans back on his heels, exasperated. "Hey, Mark," he says, as Mark twitches and tries to make his face look less like he's sulking. "You know when I said get out of the sun; you'll burn? Guess what?"
"I see where this is going, Wardo, and it's not clever."
"You look like a lobster," Eduardo tells him, and slathers more aloe on Mark's back. Mark winces.
"That's cold," he says, and, okay, no, that is actually sulking.
There's sand sticking to the aloe on his knees.
The smooth, cooling aloe.
The aloe that looks surprisingly like it could be --
"I have just had the best idea," Mark says, and yanks Eduardo down on top of him.
//
Turns out, there are certain things Mark is willing to get sand all over him for.
Unsurprisingly, sex is one of them.
//
"Wardo."
The sunburn on Mark's back hurts.
"Wardo."
There's sand up his nose.
"Hey, Wardo."
There's some kind of insect making some kind of insect noise at a ridiculous decibel in the forest behind their shelter.
"Wardo?"
Mark's back really does hurt quite a lot, now that he thinks about it properly.
"Wardo?"
"Oh my god." Eduardo rolls over, puts his face in the crook of Mark's neck. Mark can feel him pulling faces against his skin. "What, Mark? What is it?"
"My back hurts," Mark tells him. He did ask.
Eduardo groans. "I'd feel vindicated," he says, "but this is actually worse than being wrong."
"You're not the one with sunburn," Mark points out. "You just tan. Explain to me how this is fair."
"You can't code away sunburn," Eduardo says, still flopped half over Mark's side. "I'm tan. You're pasty. Nature isn't fair."
"Nature's a bitch," Mark says.
Eduardo shifts in closer. It rubs the burn on Mark's chest, but he doesn't really mind. He can cope with that one, if it means Eduardo is going to keep his arm over him like that. There are certain things Mark has gotten used to since accepting that he is fated to live out the rest of his life waging a one-sided and inevitably unsuccessful war against sand, and Eduardo being handsy in his sleep is one of them.
"Yes," Eduardo agrees. "Now go to sleep."
He kisses Mark's neck. Mark feels the sweep of Eduardo's eyelashes when Eduardo closes his eyes again. The glow of the dying fire lies golden across Eduardo's back, shadows the lines of his muscles.
Mark supposes there are some plus sides to the end of the world.
//
"No," Eduardo says, and wades around Mark to correct his grip on the fishing spear. "Like this."
Mark shifts back against him, deliberately. "Like this?" he says.
Eduardo makes a really gratifyingly dirty sound, right behind Mark's ear.
"That's really not going to catch you any fish," Eduardo says, in this incredibly uneven voice.
Mark smirks. "What does it matter?" he says. "You can do that."
Eduardo laughs and dips a kiss to the peeling burn on Mark's shoulder. "You would be so lost without me," he says, lightly.
"Yes," Mark says, as simple as that. "I would."
//
It turns out, fish tastes incalculably better when you get to brag about catching it.
//
"I think there's a twig in my hair," Mark says, mournfully. "And I think I have termites in my shorts."
"Palm tree termites?" Eduardo asks, raising an eyebrow. He looks like he's trying not to laugh.
Mark eyes him, suspicious. "You don't know," Mark says. "I could have. You're not a tree expert."
"I can climb them, though," says Eduardo. "Which is more than you can say."
"Hey!" Mark protests. "I got off the ground. That definitely counts."
"Oh, yeah," says Eduardo, grinning. "Definitely."
Mark has got tree burn on the insides of his thighs.
"Shut up," he says.
"Okay," says Eduardo, affably. "But only because I know you know I'm right."
"I hate you," Mark tells him.
"I hate you too," Eduardo says, but it sounds like something completely different.
//
Eduardo is sprawled on his back on the beach under the late evening sun when Mark sits down next to him, shakes him awake to let him know the fish is ready. He likes to watch Eduardo wake up, here; likes to watch for the moment when Eduardo realises they're safe.
"Nnngh," says Eduardo, which is just-woken-up-Eduardo for hello, what's going on? Mark knows that, just like he knows that Eduardo checks for his gun before they go to sleep, even though they don't need it here. He knows things about Eduardo, now.
He thinks maybe Eduardo always knew things about him.
Whatever.
They've got time for Mark to catch up.
/really end/
(now CLEANSE THIS FROM YOUR MIND and go look at the AMAZING ART by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aqualined)
disclaimer: really not true
double disclaimer: unresearched, unbeta'd, unapologetically ridiculous
~scenes from a nature preserve island~
aka
SWISS FAMILY HOMOSEXUAL
disclaimer: really not true
double disclaimer: unresearched, unbeta'd, unapologetically ridiculous. I JUST LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS, OKAY.
Look, the thing Eduardo needs to understand is that Mark's life so far has simply not equipped him for certain things in life. He has a certain skill set, and he's perfectly happy about that. Or at least, he was until it turned out that Eduardo is apparently brilliant at everything else.
"How are you doing this?" Mark yells, over the sound of the waves, as Eduardo emerges triumphant from the shallows with a fish impaled on the end of their makeshift spear. "When did you learn how to do this? You went to college in Boston!"
Eduardo shrugs cheerfully and lopes up the beach, shaking out his hair like a dog.
Mark splutters and shields his face.
It is possible that life on an island comprised solely of nature is not bringing out Mark's most dignified side.
"I spent a lot of time outside as a kid," Eduardo explains, flopping down in the shade next to Mark. "I learnt these things."
"You can't keep using that as a reason," Mark tells him, grumpily. "That is not a reason. I bet I could have found tons of outdoorsy people who couldn't impale fish."
"Everyone can use forks, Mark," Eduardo teases, and leans over to drip on Mark's bare stomach.
Mark yelps and squirms away. Eduardo laughs, and drags him down into the sand to kiss him.
//
Mark really, really hates sand.
Like, really.
Like, getting sand in places is causing him more grief than the entire rest of the zombie apocalypse.
"Stop scratching," Eduardo mumbles into Mark's shoulder, as Mark fidgets and pulls faces into their pillows and generally vehemently hates sand.
The pillows are lying on a billion layers of palm leaves but they are still covered in sand.
Mark revolutionised virtual social communication at the age of 19 and his ideas weren't half as pervasive as sand.
"I can't," Mark tells him, on the perilous edge of a whine. "I have sand everywhere."
Eduardo kisses the back of his neck. "I know," he says, patiently. "Go to sleep."
"That is not a solution," Mark complains.
Eduardo swats him the edge of the sleeping bags. It's colder on the beach at night that Mark was expecting, even under their handmade shelter.
Their second handmade shelter, that is. The one that Eduardo made when Mark's perfect shelter turned out to be slightly less than optimum at several unimportant aspects of being a shelter, like standing up. And sheltering them from things.
Whatever.
Mark's not bitter.
He's good at plenty of things.
Like hating sand.
//
"Get out of the sun," Eduardo calls, from halfway up a tree. "We don't have any sun block. You'll burn."
"You are up a tree," Mark shouts back. "You don't get to have opinions until you stop acting less like a primate."
"You'll regret it," Eduardo yells, shimmying further up. Mark is one hundred percent sure he does not possess the leg muscles that would allow him to do that.
"Shut up and get me some fruit," Mark yells up at him.
"Get out of the sun, Mark," Eduardo shouts down.
Mark scoots further away from the tree line. He's perfectly capable of judging when he's had enough sun. He's not a child. He's not the one in a tree right now. He clearly has the upper hand in this argument.
It's not even that hot out, anyway.
//
"Ow."
"Sorry."
"Ow!"
"Sorry!"
"Fucking ouch, Wardo, what the fuck are you doing?"
Eduardo leans back on his heels, exasperated. "Hey, Mark," he says, as Mark twitches and tries to make his face look less like he's sulking. "You know when I said get out of the sun; you'll burn? Guess what?"
"I see where this is going, Wardo, and it's not clever."
"You look like a lobster," Eduardo tells him, and slathers more aloe on Mark's back. Mark winces.
"That's cold," he says, and, okay, no, that is actually sulking.
There's sand sticking to the aloe on his knees.
The smooth, cooling aloe.
The aloe that looks surprisingly like it could be --
"I have just had the best idea," Mark says, and yanks Eduardo down on top of him.
//
Turns out, there are certain things Mark is willing to get sand all over him for.
Unsurprisingly, sex is one of them.
//
"Wardo."
The sunburn on Mark's back hurts.
"Wardo."
There's sand up his nose.
"Hey, Wardo."
There's some kind of insect making some kind of insect noise at a ridiculous decibel in the forest behind their shelter.
"Wardo?"
Mark's back really does hurt quite a lot, now that he thinks about it properly.
"Wardo?"
"Oh my god." Eduardo rolls over, puts his face in the crook of Mark's neck. Mark can feel him pulling faces against his skin. "What, Mark? What is it?"
"My back hurts," Mark tells him. He did ask.
Eduardo groans. "I'd feel vindicated," he says, "but this is actually worse than being wrong."
"You're not the one with sunburn," Mark points out. "You just tan. Explain to me how this is fair."
"You can't code away sunburn," Eduardo says, still flopped half over Mark's side. "I'm tan. You're pasty. Nature isn't fair."
"Nature's a bitch," Mark says.
Eduardo shifts in closer. It rubs the burn on Mark's chest, but he doesn't really mind. He can cope with that one, if it means Eduardo is going to keep his arm over him like that. There are certain things Mark has gotten used to since accepting that he is fated to live out the rest of his life waging a one-sided and inevitably unsuccessful war against sand, and Eduardo being handsy in his sleep is one of them.
"Yes," Eduardo agrees. "Now go to sleep."
He kisses Mark's neck. Mark feels the sweep of Eduardo's eyelashes when Eduardo closes his eyes again. The glow of the dying fire lies golden across Eduardo's back, shadows the lines of his muscles.
Mark supposes there are some plus sides to the end of the world.
//
"No," Eduardo says, and wades around Mark to correct his grip on the fishing spear. "Like this."
Mark shifts back against him, deliberately. "Like this?" he says.
Eduardo makes a really gratifyingly dirty sound, right behind Mark's ear.
"That's really not going to catch you any fish," Eduardo says, in this incredibly uneven voice.
Mark smirks. "What does it matter?" he says. "You can do that."
Eduardo laughs and dips a kiss to the peeling burn on Mark's shoulder. "You would be so lost without me," he says, lightly.
"Yes," Mark says, as simple as that. "I would."
//
It turns out, fish tastes incalculably better when you get to brag about catching it.
//
"I think there's a twig in my hair," Mark says, mournfully. "And I think I have termites in my shorts."
"Palm tree termites?" Eduardo asks, raising an eyebrow. He looks like he's trying not to laugh.
Mark eyes him, suspicious. "You don't know," Mark says. "I could have. You're not a tree expert."
"I can climb them, though," says Eduardo. "Which is more than you can say."
"Hey!" Mark protests. "I got off the ground. That definitely counts."
"Oh, yeah," says Eduardo, grinning. "Definitely."
Mark has got tree burn on the insides of his thighs.
"Shut up," he says.
"Okay," says Eduardo, affably. "But only because I know you know I'm right."
"I hate you," Mark tells him.
"I hate you too," Eduardo says, but it sounds like something completely different.
//
Eduardo is sprawled on his back on the beach under the late evening sun when Mark sits down next to him, shakes him awake to let him know the fish is ready. He likes to watch Eduardo wake up, here; likes to watch for the moment when Eduardo realises they're safe.
"Nnngh," says Eduardo, which is just-woken-up-Eduardo for hello, what's going on? Mark knows that, just like he knows that Eduardo checks for his gun before they go to sleep, even though they don't need it here. He knows things about Eduardo, now.
He thinks maybe Eduardo always knew things about him.
Whatever.
They've got time for Mark to catch up.
/really end/
(now CLEANSE THIS FROM YOUR MIND and go look at the AMAZING ART by
aqualined)
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no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 05:17 am (UTC)Swiss Family Homosexual.
Swiss Family Homosexual.
SWISS FAMILY HOMOSEXUAL.
Just. Let me love you. LET ME LOVE THIS WHOLE THING. THIS EPILOGUE IS NOT OPTIONAL; IT IS NECESSARY.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 05:47 am (UTC)Even though I am not big on zombie apocalypses because they don't usually have happy endings, this one was great and HAD A HAPPY ENDING.
Also, there were so many great lines and I should have saved them all, but I didn't because I fail. But know that this was great.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 08:33 am (UTC)(This is adorable. Sand is awful.)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 11:55 am (UTC)I will take the blame for this gladly. And skjfhg hyper competent Wardo and grumpy Mark, you are my favourites forever.
ALL OF THE APPLESAUCE FOR YOOOOOOOU
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 01:18 pm (UTC)Yeah, coherency is reduced with my flailing over this fic. Just take my pure keyboard smash of love! ;ALSKFJAKSF;ASDFAKSF
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-06 03:55 am (UTC)I really enjoyed this fill, the serious parts and the silly ones both.
* Not really.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-06 10:51 am (UTC)SO GLAD THAT I DID OH GOD NOT SURE I COULD HAVE SURVIVED UNTIL THE END OF POSTING BEFORE I READ THIS AWESOME. It's just...askljgsjlksjk SO GOOD. Zombie apocalypse stories are ones I find awesome but have not read much of because often they are just too damn traumatising, but this was sad but in a happy sort of way, a sort of 'yes most of the world is dead/zombified and Mark and Wardo live in fear of their lives and have to shoot dead people on a daily basis BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE THEY ARE TOGETHER AND LESS STUPID FACEBOOK DISTRACTING FROM THE ACTUAL ESTABLISHMENT OF AN AWESOME RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON MUTUAL LIFE-SAVING TRUST AND SHOWER SEX!' And their conversation which never actually led to an apology on either side but sort-of fixed it anyway was so sweet and so THEM and just the fact that Wardo only had to call for Mark to abandon his shelter and drive across the country was perfect and basically it was fabulous.
And then of course came the Epilogue of Amazement dear god I wish I had your brain SWISS FAMILY HOMOSEXUAL that is glorious XD I have never read any zombie apocalypse fic with a happy ending because as you say, kind of hard to do what with the zombie apocalypse at all. AND YET YOU MANAGED IT. YOU WROTE IT. AND I LOVE IT.
So basically if we sum up this incoherent flail, this is amazing and fabulous and hilarious and sweet and sad and beautiful and I love it a ridiculous amount and the epilogue is the most spectacular epilogue ever written. BASICALLY.
Also? BEAUTIFUL FULL STOP PLACEMENT YOU CLEARLY HAVE A WONDERFUL BETA WITH EXCELLENT FULL STOP INCLUDING SKILLS AND THOSE SENTENCES ARE ALL BEAUTIFULLY MANAGED AND JUST THE RIGHT LENGTHS GO YOU GUYS. \o/
no subject
Date: 2011-09-06 02:05 pm (UTC)I absolutely love how in the beginning it's kind of cool and distanced, you know? And then it builds until he meets Eduardo and then they have all these FEELINGS and it's all so very painfully real-feeling.
The fact that they don't apologise hurts my heart but it also works, because they were both right from their respective points of view, and of course they'd argue, and all that.
Here is what I wrote in a word document last night when I was reading this:
“Schrodinger's Eduardo, both dead and alive in the far away glow of Floridian sunlight. “
Are you serious, did you know Schrodinger's references are my weakenss.
(or are they)
“Mark tries not to think about Dustin these days. “
Way to make my heart stop for an instant. Oh Mark.
“not me, not me, not me. “
“and Mark balls up his fists in the back of Eduardo's t-shirt, shuts his eyes, finally breathes in. “
And I teared up and you are amazing.
Mark not knowing if he could kill Eduardo. Ugh my heeeaaart
“It kind of makes sense that they'd work well together at shooting things down: they obviously sucked at building things up.”
“touch-starved “
“It's his first smile since the end of the world. “
“Neither of them ever apologises. “
IN CONCLUSION, well done, this is amazingg. <33
(and the SWISS FAMILY HOMOSEXUAL is just as amazing sdkfjhsdf MARK YOU BURN SO EASILY AND YOUR JEALOUSY OF EDUARDO'S TAN IS HILARIOUS (but understandable, goddamn))
no subject
Date: 2011-09-06 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-06 07:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-07 03:51 am (UTC)more on this love once i manage to sort out my incoherency but for now I shall leave you with SJHAKJDNJNDNjskjnd
no subject
Date: 2011-09-07 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-07 07:11 am (UTC)I also liked a lot that there's no apology for Facebook and they don't need one. Your fic is really beautiful and gentle even with zombies still alive. I don't know how you do it. Your writing is excellent.
Thanks for writing and sharing <3
no subject
Date: 2011-09-07 08:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 01:42 am (UTC)I guess you already know I love your style and how you write things... the words flow smoothly, the whole story flows perfectly, and your writing is just amazing to read. It is that kind of story that you don't want to stop reading, but that, at the same time, you don't want to reach the end, because once you do, it is over, and you don't want it to be over.
I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally adore your stuff, bb, and this is definately no exception!! ♥ I love what you did with this story, and that even if it has a scary background you made them happy in their own way. I abso-fucking-lutely adore that.
AND I ADORE YOU TOO, BB!!!!
PS: I hope you remember me! ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 03:00 am (UTC)And I love the end. It's sweet and funny and perfect.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-12 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-12 05:54 am (UTC)safe to say i loved your epilogue the most lol <3333
OH BOYS OH ZOMBIES OH ~FEELINGS.
gun-toting bad ass eduardo has to be my favourite thing in the worlddddd <33333
HEARTS FOR YOU MOOG, ALL THE HEARTS FOR YOU <33333
no subject
Date: 2011-09-14 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-15 07:44 pm (UTC)I was sadfacing my way through all of part one, but then Wardo made his adorable, much anticipated, red-faced appearance and I was, uh... the closest thing to happy that exists in zombie-apocalyptic circumstances :)? THE CUDDLING. THE KISSES. THE KISSES-THAT-COULD-HAVE-BEEN. (God, Mark. HOW DID YOU MISS SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO KISS WARDO.) I did muss Dustin and Chris a ~lot, but I also kind of enjoyed having the cast of characters reduced to Mark and Wardo because IDK it was quieter than the TSN stuff I've read so far and it just fit the tone and the bleakness of the fic really well. Oh and I loved the zombie-shooting action and the guns and Mark and Wardo being generally awesome together. (It kind of makes sense that they'd work well together at shooting things down: they obviously sucked at building things up. Seriously? MY HEART.) But fkjs;slsj I AM SO GLAD THERE IS A HAPPY-MAKING EPILOGUE BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COPE. Also, Chris and Dustin, stop hiding behind that tree! We all know you are there!
Okay, some things I especially liked? (I mean, apart from the ones I tweeted because they were short enough and I couldn't contain my joy.)
Even in the midst of the fucking zombie apocalypse, he still can't ask if Eduardo's okay. Which is horrible, because he probably isn't. Mark isn't. Still, he should ask: he wants to have the right to ask.
Awww Mark you are such a fucked up human being and also him asking that question to dead silence when he finally does ask oh moog, how so cruel? ;___;
Mark's never been to Lake Worth and it's bigger than he was expecting. He doesn't know where to start looking. He shakes out the map he's been using, taken from a gas station a few miles into Florida, stares down at it like it's going to suddenly grow a little arrow: Eduardo is here.
This is just lovely and I'm sure that if you could program maps, Mark so would program this one just so it would grow an arrow indicating Eduardo. :D
Mark used to be able to tell the time of day from the way his office was lit, the quality of the light across his keyboard, but now he just looks to Eduardo. In the midst of an unchanging, undead landscape, Mark can't keep his eyes away from life.
This- well, THIS. I love your writing and the comparisons you use and how Eduardo is Mark's substitute for computers and coding, and how he is enough even though Mark really misses his computer and is so bad at people stuff. I'm stupidly babbling, but this was probably my very favourite line.
LOVE AND CONFETTI!
(Also seeee how I finally have a TSN icon; using it for the first time now weeee.)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-19 06:05 pm (UTC)