breakfast burrito duvets

LOOK okay I have no excuse for what I have been doing for the last seven days other than to say that the Inception fandom is apparently both ridiculously prolific and unfairly talented. For example, have you read that amazing one where Eames subconsciously starts Arthur-proofing his apartment or maybe the inevitable have-sex-or-die fic where the whole team fights over who gets to fuck Arthur or this one where Arthur suddenly realises the extent of Eames' frankly ridiculous intellect and it's really hot or perhaps tu es la belle et moi la bête (where Eames gets stuck with the mind of an actual dog)? No?

And if you've not read Kobayashi Maru by hackthis, do so at once, and that goes DOUBLE for i am the hero of this story (don't need to be saved (aka: the one where Mal wakes up) by electrumqueen. Seriously.

There's even a FREAKING AMAZING BOARDING SCHOOL AU.

inception_kink has slightly taken over my life.

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED A COUPLE OF MY FAVOURITES. I am in the process of making a proper rec post for Inception fic but it will be HUGE and SPRAWLING, including the ones here and other ones that have made me weep and clutch the laptop to my chest with both a+ ficitude and raging jealousy that I will never write anything as frankly brilliant, and, and, THIS FANDOM: WHAT HAS IT DONE TO ME?





it is amazing and I have gone mental

I blame Terry Pratchett

When I am on the computer, I am on the sofa. Right next to the sofa, I have a handy box for handily storing biscuits, on top of which are the books I am in the middle of reading. Right now, there are five on there.

Flashback 1: There was a sale in Waterstones the other day. 3 for 2 on all fiction. ALL FICTION. Even to someone (me) who has recently received a bank statement that basically said STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON BOOKS AND FILMS, YOU IDIOTIC, FISCALLY IRRESPONSIBLE LOSER, that is like a siren call of imminent money loss and storage problems. The books are taking over, there is no escape, etc etc etc. Anyway. I bought the couple of Neil Gaiman's I'd had on my to-buy-when-brain-stops-telling-you-not-to-buy-books list (doesn't everyone have one of those?) and that left the dilemma as to which should be the third/free one. This leads nicely into:

Flashback 2:
CB: YOU HAVE NOT READ ANY TERRY PRATCHETT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
MOOG: I ... didn't get on with Good Omens? At all? And the bits I did like were few and far between?
CB: NO EXCUSE READ SOME DISCWORLD AT ONCE.

Which brings us back to

Flashback 1: So I bought The Colour of Magic. You know, I figured I'd start at the beginning and all that.

The thing is, though, I really don't get on with Terry Pratchett books. I want to! I long with a large part of my heart to love them the way the rest of the internet seems to do! I just... don't. There's this disconnect in my brain somewhere between Large Amount of Fantasy Names (see also: I cannot read Lord of the Rings) and I Quite Like The Dialogue Though and Something Just Isn't Clicking For Me and I just - get bored. While I'm reading. Sometimes in the middle of sentences. However! The ads for all the tv adaptations all look AMAZING, and I happily watch LOTR and the fantasy names barely bother me at all (look, I know I am a horrible person, okay, let's move on) and so I know that if I could just KEEP READING then I would in all probability REALLY LOVE Discworld books. But I don't. And I've tried. And I still don't.

Which in turn brings us back to this morning.

There isn't really room for five books on top of my biscuit box. I have on there Havemercy by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett (a semi-permanent fixture, as I am pretty much always flicking through to reread parts), One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night by Christopher Brookmyer (something I have not yet started), Wild Swans by Jung Chang (I'm in the middle of it but keep having to veer away and read something cheerful), Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner (which I read half of in one sitting, and then had to go and do something else and know I'm going to have to start from the beginning again when I pick it up again: it's very court-drama/cloak-and-dagger, with lots of feuds and complicated tension going on that you really need to keep straight) and THEN we have The Colour of Magic.

I read the first part. It was a painful experience, although I did like the Luggage, and Rincewind. I like the characters in general! However, something still wasn't clicking for me and so it sat, wedged between the pile of books and the sofa cushion, not quite fitting and always causing me to knock the pile of books over because there's just too many.

Incidentally, my phone lives on top of these books as well.

So, this morning, to get back to my incredibly belaboured point.

The scene: precarious pile of books on biscuit box, topped by phone. Next to this, all the remotes for the tv/dvd player/freeview/video player etc. Juuuust in front of that: my computer.

I put down a glass of orange juice.

You see where this is going.

Although, actually, it wasn't quite that simple.

( Presenting! 20 Steps to Having the Luck of a Ninja and THEN the Luck of a Defamed, Ex-Ninja Who Eats Too Many Biscuits. )

So, to conclude: if my computer dies a death, I blame Terry Pratchett.




PLEASE DON'T DIE, LOVELY COMPUTER, I AM SORRY FOR MY OWN INEPTITUDE.