"I will answer your questions but only in the language of a crow"

[mooging]

My morning has not gone particularly well. It has been a tad full of trivial little deviations from nice, simple tasks that has ended in me metaphorically sticking myself to the computer chair and watching Top Gear clips until the stress went away.

I was making myself some breakfast. I had tea and Alpen (muesli). I had poured the hot water into the tea cup when my sister (who is 5) appeared down the stairs. Everything kind of spiraled from there.

SISTER: Can I have some raisins?
TEA: *gets stronger by the second*
ME: OMGZTEA.
SISTER: RAISINS
ME: *dives in the cupboard, pours out the raisins (not noticing that she is actually pouring out currents)*
TEA: AHAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE TOO STRONG TO DRINK SOON!
SISTER: *goes away*
CRISIS 1: *is averted*

A few moments later, as everything is nearly ready and I am preparing to go up the stairs and eat:

SISTER: *re-appears* Don't like these, want a yogurt.
ME: *gets a yogurt*
SISTER: *goes away again*
CURRENTS: *sit in bowl, waiting to go back in the packet*
PACKET: *has a tiny, tiny opening for a lot of currents to fit through*
CURRENTS: *go everywhere*
ME: MUST HURRY.
TEA: AHAHAHA NOW I WILL COOL DOWN RAPIDLY
ME: OMG WANT NICE TEA
MILK: *is poured quickly into Alpen*
MILK: *actually sloshes out of bowl and under the kettle*
ME: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
CLOTH: *refuses to clean milk*
KITCHEN: *smells like milk*
TEA: MWAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE SO DISGUSTING!
ALPEN: And I am going soggy!

CRISIS 2: *leaves Moog a wearied wreck*

Yes, I did over-dramatise that. Yes, I do get perturbed by minor disruptions. Stop mocking me.

Meanwhile, it is the weekend and I have Maths coursework to procrastinate over, so let's play this (stolen from rionaleonhart):

Comment to this post with an idea for a Top Five list (for example, Five Things Top Gear Dog Would Rather Not Have Seen, or Five Times Laura Roslin's Desk Broke, or Five Monday Morning Incidents With Mac's Motorbike). Then, in a separate post in reply to your comment, I will compile the requested list, according to me. Multiple requests are welcomed.

Comments

[cecile-volanges.livejournal.com]

Babe, you poor thing with your kitchen traumas! But I must admit I laughed my arse off... you write so well, sweet!

Did you know Kristin is going to be on Top Gear? I'm quite sure you do know ;) *is still mystified*

Erm...hmmmm....five things that happened when Mab and Jadis met?

xxxxxxxxxx

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

Did you know Kristin is going to be on Top Gear? - Yes, I do know, and I am GLEEFUL!

Five things that happened when Mab and Jadis met

1) In a fit of rage, furious about being stranded in this land of ice and cold and unfamiliarity, Mab destroyed all the stone statues in Jadis' courtyard and Jadis watched, seething and still and waiting for the pause.

2) When they met, Jadis tried to strike Mab with her wand for being a rival and competitor, but Mab whipped up a wind so strong that Jadis was knocked off her feet and from the floor, in a muddle of clothes and hair and disbelief, Jadis looked at Mab and saw survival.

3) Mab handed Jadis a crystal, a few days after she'd arrived in Narnia, and Jadis saw the beginning and the end of all time, and she felt power. She handed it back without a word and they didn't speak for three days, when Jadis felt empty and numb and Mab pushed her against the throne and kissed her, hard and cold and warm, and Jadis felt the same power all over again.

4) They twisted together on the frozen floor of a cell, needing and seeking and hating; Mab screamed when she came and Jadis lay still. They were lower then, lower than themselves, bare and alone in a palace of ice and behind Jadis' own cell bars.

5) Mab left suddenly, didn't feel it coming herself, disappeared one night. Jadis wasn't sleeping, didn't sleep, and felt the change in her kingdom as though someone had stabbed her. There was no sign of Mab, no sign of anyone else, and Jadis sat regal and solitary on her crystal throne.

....why can't I write today?! I might do another one later, I'm not liking this too much.

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

I still have to write my version of Mab/Jadis porn. Really I do.

OMG! When is Kristin gonna be on Top Gear???? *squees*

[missfoxie.livejournal.com]

IT IS OKAY. I SAW HER ON TOP GEAR.

Jeremy was a wibbling fangirl. I giggled at him, and drooled all over her loveliness.